Stay With Me
by x-OmgItsRach-x
Summary: Spinelli left Third Street suddenly in fifth grade... now in senior year, she's back with a new name and a dark secret.
1. An Old School

**OK, a new story!! Which means that yet again I have to tell you all that I don't own Recess… sob. The italics are flashbacks, I'm sure y'all knew that by now :) ****Enjoy!**

Third Street School… it looked exactly the same as it did the last time she saw it. It was weird- she'd been expecting it to look different, but it was exactly the same. In a way, seeing her beloved elementary school the exact way she'd left it gave her a huge comfort.

But things weren't the same. Seven years had passed- even the kids that were in kindergarten when she left in fifth grade would have moved on to middle school now. She herself was just about to start senior year at a brand new school.

Her mom's car stopped at a red light- so the girl in the passenger seat got a few minutes to stare at the school and relive those days… the embarrassment of calling her fourth grade teacher 'mama', the carefree spirit shared by her and her five best friends as they slid down the slide of the jungle gym, 'Old Rusty' they used to call it… the sparks that flew as she experienced her first kiss behind the dumster… and the tears that fell the day she had to leave it all behind…

_Spinelli and TJ were walking home from school. TJ was blabbing on about last night's episode of Beanie McChimp, but Spinelli wasn't really taking it in. Her mind was elsewhere- it had been for the last week, ever since… no, she wasn't going to think about it. But if that wasn't bad enough, her parents had been arguing a _lot _lately, and it was beginning to get too much for her. It didn't help that they had a seemingly happy, loving relationship before it happened… she felt like it was her fault. The guilt on her heart weighed her down like it was a twenty tonne weight._

_TJ bit his lip, realising he was blabbering- but he couldn't help it. He always blabbered on about some random topic when he was nervous, and right now, he was _extremely_ nervous. Because tonight was the night he was going to tell his best friend that he wanted to be more than just friends._

_He was going to tell Spinelli that he was in love with her._

_He looked at her and bit his lip- God, she was so perfect. Her beautiful raven hair, her soft brown eyes, the wonderful dimples in her cheeks when she smiled… but he hadn't seen her smile for about a week now and was getting worried, but whenever he asked her if she was OK, she just said, "I'm fine," in a hollow, unconvincing monotone._

_They finally reached the street where they both lived, just a few doors down from each other. They were in and out of each others' houses so often, TJ was like family to the Spinellis, the same way TJ's parents considered Spinelli as a second daughter._

"_I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Spinelli said flatly, not knowing that today would be the last day she'd spend with TJ._

_She turned around to go, but TJ called "Spinelli!" As Spinelli turned around, he blurted out the words he'd wanted to say for so long…_

"_I think I'm in love with you."_

_TJ felt sick- what if she didn't feel the same way and it ruined their friendship? Spinelli also felt sick- these exact seven words were the words she'd wanted to hear TJ say to her for years, but he couldn't have picked a worse time to say them. She wanted so much to say she felt the same way, ask him out or even kiss him; but she couldn't. She just couldn't._

_Because she didn't want to hurt him._

_So she turned around and ran up to her house, ignoring TJ as he called after her. _

_Closing the door behind her, she could hear her parents screaming insults at each other; it was nothing new._

_Her father stormed down the stairs looking angry, and without a word to Spinelli, left the house, slamming the front door behind him. Spinelli's mother ran down the stairs, her face tear stained, shaking uncontrollably. She looked hysterical. "Ashley, pack your bags, we're leaving."_

_Oh God. Spinelli knew this was coming. She just had no idea it would happen after just one week. _

"_Where are we going?"_

"_I don't know and I don't care, just DO AS I SAY!!" Flo screamed, and Spinelli knew better than to argue with her._

_An hour later, Spinelli and Flo had their suitcases packed and loaded in the trunk of Flo's car. The engine revved up and Spinelli stared out of the window sadly, tears forming in her brown eyes… it was weird. She never normally cried._

_TJ didn't see the car speed away. He was sitting in his house, heartbroken… wondering. Why? Why couldn't Spinelli love him?_

_He was reluctant to go to school the next day, but his mom made him go in, even when he pretended to be sick. He gloomily sat down at his desk and noticed the desk where Spinelli usually sat was empty._

_Spinelli didn't go in all day, or the day after that, or the day after that. And no one in Miss Finster's fifth grade class ever found out where she'd gone, or why, or if she was coming back._

_TJ was so angry that Spinelli had just left him without a word, that he made a vow to himself… if he ever saw her again… he would make her pay for his heartbreak…_

The lights changed to green and Flo Mills drove on. The girl stared out of the window. Her name was Ashley Mills, but before her mom and dad divorced, it was Ashley Spinelli.

"We're here," Flo said, as they arrived at the school. "Thanks, Mom," Ashley said, getting out of the car and checking her reflection in the mirror. She didn't think anyone would recognise her as Spinelli, as her appearance had changed a great deal since fifth grade. Gone were her long, messy, raven pigtails- her black hair was now short and pixie-like. She was no longer tiny and skinny either- she'd shot up to be five foot six, and had womanly curves in all the right places. She dressed differently too- replacing her trademark look of dress, leather jacket, stripy tights, ski cap and huge boots with a black and purple hoody, black skinny jeans and black and white Vans. Ashley Mills did not wear any makeup.

"Bye!" Ashley said, waving to the disappearing car and turning back to face the huge high school before her…

**OK, it's not the 2000 word long chapters you're used to, and I'm sorry. But what do you think? Should I carry on with it? Reviews would be mucho appreciated :) **

**With love,**

**Rach :)**


	2. A New School

**Wow! 3 reviews already! :) Here are a few notes to my beloved reviewers:**

**lozzard-wellard****: Thank you very muchly for being my first reviewer! Glad you like the story!**

**LaughALife:**** Your review meant a lot to me. It was a huge compliment to be called a wonderful writer by someone whose stories are as great as yours are, so thank you!**

**anon:**** Haha, don't you just love the older TJ/Spin stories! :D The whole thing with TJ making Spinelli pay is because he doesn't understand that it's not Spinelli's fault she's gone, and he's really angry because she left so suddenly without saying goodbye, just after he told her his true feelings for her.**

**Thank you again to all three of you, you're awesome! And now, here is Chapter 2!!**

Ashley Mills took a deep breath. She was feeling nervous as hell. After she moved away, she was home-schooled, so being in a high school environment was so weird for her.

The last time she was at a school, it was seven years ago, and it was an elementary school. It was quite small, pretty much everyone knew each other, and she was one of the oldest- one of the ones the little kids looked up to in awe.

She was the oldest here, too- but she was still a nobody, because she was new. She remembered how one of her old friends, Gus, was treated when he was the new kid at Third Street and shuddered- what if they treated her like that too?

She eventually found the office- a huge boy with dark, spiky hair and thick black glasses sat behind the desk, typing away on the keyboard. He looked very smart; he was wearing a blue shirt with a stripy green and yellow tie.

_Whoa, Menlo sure has let himself go._

"Can I help you?" Menlo said in a bored tone, without looking up from the keyboard.

"Uh- yeah. My name's Ashley Mills, I'm a-"

"New student." Menlo finished for her, handing her a piece of paper. "Here's your schedule."

Ashley read it, not taking any of the black print in. She could see that the schedule told her what rooms she needed to be in for each class; but she still didn't know how to find a single one, so the schedule might as well have been written in Cantonese. "Well? Don't just stand there!" Menlo began, sounding annoyed. "Class starts in precisely four point-"

But Ashley never found out the exact number of minutes until class started, because she interrupted Menlo by saying, "But I don't know how to find any of these rooms!" Ashley was surprised at how desperate her voice sounded- was _she _really that scared and desperate?

Menlo sighed. "Randall!"

Oh no.

Randall Weens came into view- small and skinny with high-waisted trousers, curly red hair and a mischievous grin.

"Good morning Menlo- lemme guess, _another _new student you want me to show around school?"

"If you would," Menlo said, typing something on his computer, his fingers clacking away at the keys faster than the speed of sound.

"It would be a pleasure," Randall grinned. Ashley could feel his eyes trace every curve of his body, silently groaning. "You got a name?"

"Ashley Mills," Ashley said, and Randall grinned. "Oh, _another _Ashley? We've already got more of them than you can shake a stick at here." He laughed at his own, unfunny joke. "They're all best friends, cheerleaders, most popular girls here…" He pointed at four girls standing in the corner, cackling like hyenas. They were all wearing tight designer outfits. Ashley groaned- the Ashleys had been one thing she had not missed about her old life. "Every girl named Ashley has been like them… except for one."

"Who?" Ashley asked, knowing the answer, but wanting to see what Randall would say about her. "Ashley Spinelli… went to elementary school with us, but left suddenly in fifth grade…" Randal suddenly looked uncomfortable and started to blush, then randomly said, "are you like the Ashleys, then?"

"God no!" Ashley said, and Randall sighed. "Thank God! Four of them is quite enough, thank you… though I must say, I wouldn't mind seeing _you _in the kind of things they wear."

"Keep dreaming, creep!" Ashley said, sounding just like her old self.

Randall laughed and extended his hand towards Ashley. "Well _I'm _Randall Weens- Randall Scandal, as they call me here. Because I always get the scandals. I know everything about _everyone_."

"What are you, the school snitch?" Ashley snorted, wondering if there was someone like Miss Finster here who Randall would rat to whenever someone did something wrong.

Randall laughed. "Please. That is _so _elementary school. I'm better than that… I'm the school paparazzi!"

Without warning, Randall suddenly got out a camera and took a picture of Ashley's horrified face.

Randall chuckled to himself. "That is _so _going on the front page of tomorrow's school paper."

"But- I didn't _want _you to take that picture!" Ashley protested. "It's illegal to take pictures of people without their permission…"

"The law's easy to bend around," Randall said, grinning.

"Why would my picture be on the front of the school paper anyway? I'm the new girl… I've not even done anything yet!"

"Exactly. We always do a feature on new kids… people at this school are hungry for gossip, and it's my job to give it to 'em," Randall said as the first bell rang. "Let me see…" Randall took Ashley's schedule from her hands and carefully scanned it. "English, Mr. Gordon, Room 22… OK, I can get you there. Follow me."

Randall led Ashley through the packed corridors, corridors Ashley was sure she would never find her way around. Randall steered her through the crowds of loud people- adding to the noise by shouting, "out of my way, new girl coming through!" This made people stare at Ashley, who wished Randall would shut up- she didn't want to be the school freakshow, she just wanted to blend into the background.

Ashley and Randall stopped outside a room that said Room 22 on the door. "Well, I'm not in this class, but I'll see you later," Randall said, leaving her standing outside. Ashley took a deep breath and went in.

There were five round tables in the classroom as well as the teachers desk. The pupils sitting around each table stopped their conversations and looked up at her as she walked in. Her cheeks burning as she felt everyone's eyes on her, she sat down at the only unoccupied table, too shy to try and make friends. The people sitting in the room didn't exactly look friendly either. They all fitted nicely into their perfect little cliques- jocks, Ashleys, skaters and geeks.

Gradually, the conversation started up again, until the door opened again. Ashley thought at first it might have been the teacher, but when she looked up, she realised it was just another student. This student was about six foot five and quite big, with wavy, shoulder length blond hair and big blue eyes. He was dressed in very bright, extravagant clothing.

"Good morning all," the boy said cheerfully, but the blond boy at the jock table shouted out, "Shut up, queer!" and the whole class laughed apart from Ashley and the boy himself. But he didn't lose the cheerful sparkle in his eyes.

He walked over to Ashley's table. "Excuse me fair lady, please may I sit here?" He gestured to the seat next to her, and she smiled and nodded. This guy seemed nice- maybe he could be her first friend. And he reminded her of someone…

"Thank you… I'm extremely glad you'd let me have your company," the guy said, smiling warmly, but the smile faded as he said, "I don't usually get a lot of company… ever since I 'came out of the closet' in sophomore year, they've been avoiding me like the plague…" he stopped looking sad and the cheerfulness returned. "But it's their problem. Just because I am gay does not make me any less of a person."

"I have absolutely no problem with gay people," Ashley said genuinely, smiling, amazed at how strong this guy managed to say, even with the whole class shouting insults at him.

"My name is Michael Blumberg, but you may call me Mikey if that is what you prefer," the boy said, holding out his hand for Ashley to shake. As Ashley shook his hand, she felt a warm, happy glow inside of her. She found it extremely reassuring that Mikey went to the same high school as her and that he hadn't changed a bit. Maybe TJ, Gretchen, Vince and Gus would be here too. Maybe they were all still friends. Maybe they were all still exactly the same as they were in fifth grade. Maybe they could pick up from where they left off…

"What's your name?" Mikey asked.

Ashley opened her mouth to say 'Spinelli', but looking like a goldfish, closed it again. What was she thinking? She couldn't tell people who she _really _was…

"Ashley Mills," Ashley said. "I'm new here."

"Wow… you seem so different to the other Ashleys," Mikey said, and Ashley nodded. "Yeah, they're sluts- I mean, Randall told me about them," Ashley said quickly.

"I take it you've met Randall, then." Mikey said. "He shows the new students around school on their first day to get gossip about them. Then he goes home and makes everything he's found out into a newspaper report. The next day, he leaves them to fend for themselves."

"That's terrible!" Ashley said, making a mental note not to let Randall find out anything about her.

Mikey nodded. "I don't agree with it. I believe the new students are extremely scared in their first day here, and Randall exploiting their personal life on the front page of the school papers will just make them feel even more intimidated."

"Sorry I'm late, class," a male voice said, disrupting their conversation. Everyone stopped talking- this time the teacher _had _walked in. Mr. Gordon was small, porky and bald, but had a huge, black moustache. He was wearing a tweed suit and carrying a stack of books. He placed them on his desk and sat down.

"I'm just going to take a roll call, please raise your hand and when I say your name, so I get to know you all," Mr. Gordon said. "Ashley Armbuster?"

"Present," Ashley A. said, smirking smugly as she raised her perfectly manicured hand, deliberately pointing it at an angle so the whole class could see each perfect, hot pink nail.

"Michael Blumberg?" "Present," Mikey said cheerfully, raising his hand- some of the jocks smirked at each other and the Ashleys started whispering.

"Ashley Boulet?" "Present," Ashley B. said, flicking back her curly black hair and smiling at Mr. Gordon as she raised her hand. She stuck out her chest and fluttered her long eyelashes at Mr. Gordon.

Ashley looked at Mikey, confusion in her eyes. Mikey almost laughed. "Ashley B. flirts with every male teacher, regardless of how old they are," he whispered. Ashley shuddered, that was wrong on all levels.

"Stuart Chapman?" "Present." "Jimmy Cratmer?" "Present." "Amber Davidson?" "Pre-"

Suddenly the fire alarm began to ring.

"Fire drill! Everyone stay calm and make an orderly exit from the room!" Mr. Gordon suddenly yelled.

Of course, no one was calm and no one made an orderly exit. Everyone ran for the door, screaming at each other.

"What's their problem?" Ashley asked, remembering how at Third Street, a fire drill was either a drill or someone setting the fire alarm off for a prank or a dare- it was never a real fire so people always stayed relaxed. "It can't be a real fire."

Mikey shrugged. "It could be… there's this one guy who always skips class to smoke behind the science labs, he's always torching the place."

They followed everyone outside where people were lining up in their classes. Ashley and Mikey joined the back of their class's line.

"Gee, what a shame, I was hoping Blumburger would get burned to death," said the same blond jock who had called Mikey a queer earlier. He was taller and better looking than the other jocks, and you could tell he called the shots in this school by the adoring looks people gave him. He had one arm around Ashley A and the other around Ashley T, while the other two Ashleys played with his hair.

The other jocks laughed and Mikey didn't say anything, but anger bubbled up inside of Ashley. How dare they say stuff like that about her friend?

"And I was hoping maybe the fire would have burned your vocal chords so you wouldn't be able to talk crap to us again," Ashley said, and the jocks chorused, "oooooh!"

"Maybe Blumburger's straight after all," the guy said. "He's got himself a little girlfriend… isn't that sweet, fellas?"

The guys and the Ashleys laughed again. The tall blond guy sneered at Ashley. "They deserve each other. Everyone knows new kids are scum."

The jocks laughed and turned away, leaving Ashley fuming. "Why I oughtta-"

"Leave it, Ash." Mikey said. "They aren't worth the hassle. We'll just have to hope they'll grow up one day."

"Who are those guys, anyway?" Ashley asked.

"They're the basketball team- I do dislike the term 'jocks' as it makes them sound more like labels than people. They are human beings, and they are very talented at what they do."

"What, shooting hoops and being jerks?"

"Most of them would be kind, thoughtful, caring, sensitive people if it wasn't for their overwhelming desires to be popular."

"Why does everyone want to be popular so much?"

"That is a question people like us will never know the answer to."

"Who's that blond guy who thinks he's such a big shot? He seems to be the worst one."

"He's the team captain and star player. Every single girl in school is in love with him. People call him Guy- but his real name is Gus. Gus Griswald."

**So Gus is the evil, popular, sporty one!! I bet you didn't see that coming… in most stories it's Vince that goes to the dark side :) Please keep the reviews coming! **

**With love,**

**Rach :) **


	3. Another Shock

**Yay, another chapter and 4 more reviews!! I've decided I'm going to **_**try **_**and get one chapter up every night, because I hate reading a story that never, ever gets updated, but I may not manage it every night, because I get quite a lot of homework.**

**lozzard-wellard:**** Thanks for the review! I agree completely- I'm not gay but I hate homophobia, if someone is gay it doesn't make them any less of a person. I love Mikey too! He's the best :D**

**Rockthis:**** Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like this, and what happened to TJ is in this chapter, along with what happened to several others :D**

**anon:**** Thanks for reviewing! I wanted to make Gus the popular one because most people go with Vince and I wanted to shock them. Gus isn't the only one who's changed either, prepare for another shock people!**

**abby: Thanks for the review! It does seem unusual, but Gus _does _become 'cool' in that episode where he stops wearing his glasses, I can't remember what that's called though. :P**

**Right, I'll leave you to read Chapter 3! Adios! **

If Ashley had been drinking something at that moment, she would probably have spat it out into Mikey's face in shock; however, luckily for Mikey, Ashley wasn't drinking something, so she just gaped wide open in shock.

Mikey's eyes widened in suspicion. "Why do you look so shocked?"

_God Ashley, you need to become a better actress, _she said. But then she remembered something.

"Oh- I seem to remember some guy called Gus Griswald at my elementary school," she lied. "He only stayed a few months- he was a bit of a dork, he had no friends at all… I never thought he'd turn out like that."

"He went to my elementary school too," Mikey said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "He moved around a lot because his dad was in the army- but in sixth grade his dad got killed in the front line, so he and his mom live here now. We used to be friends…" Mikey suddenly looked horrified. "Ashley, please don't tell people I told you that."

"I swear I won't," Ashley promised. Suddenly the fire alarm stopped ringing and kids started going back inside. Ashley saw one fire fighter talking to the principal and shaking his head. "You should really get your kids to give up smoking," he said.

Other than the fire drill, the day was quite uneventful up until lunch. Ashley and Mikey where together in every class but one, then at lunch, Randall came over and sat with them.

"Ah, see you've met Mikey," Randall said, grinning foolishly. "He writes the poetry column on the school paper."

"Yeah, Mikey said he was into poetry," Ashley said, smiling as she remembered how talented Mikey was as a ten-year-old; he must be absolutely amazing now, like nothing on this earth.

Randall suddenly whipped out a notebook and started scribbling away like crazy. Ashley remembered that he wanted to write a report about her for the school paper, but she hadn't told him anything about her, had he?

Mikey, who was sitting next to Randall, saw Ashley's worried expression and read Randall's notes. "He's writing about what you're having for lunch today," he said, smiling. Ashley sighed, relieved.

After lunch, Randall took Ashley on a tour of the school grounds. Randall was explaining to her exactly who everyone was, and when he saw something exciting happening, he'd stop and go, "Randall gets another scandal!", whip out his camera, take a snapshot and scribble hastily in his notebook. Mikey came along too, which Ashley was glad about.

"That's Gretchen Grundler," Randall said, pointing to a tall, pale, skinny girl with auburn hair in a neat bun. She was wearing a yellow cardigan with a bottle green pleated skirt, carried a stack of books and wore huge spectacles. "Smartest girl in school. She could have graduated from college years ago."

_Wow. Gretch hasn't changed a bit,_ Ashley thought to herself. Seeing Gus as a jock was a huge shock for her, and she hoped that everyone else was exactly the same; she didn't cope well with change.

Sadly people don't always get what they want.

There had been several questions running around Ashley's head all day. _Has anyone noticed I'm Spinelli yet? If Gus is the popular guy, then what happened to Vince? I thought if anyone would be the popular sports star, it'd be him… and where the hell is TJ?_

The second of those questions was about to be answered.

Ashley, Mikey and Randall came across three guys with dreadlocks and tye-dye T-Shirts. There were two who looked like brothers sitting watching the third one, who was performing a complicated trick on his skateboard and making it look extremely easy. He had dark skin and black dreadlocks.

"The skaters," Randall said unnecessarily. "Sam and Dave Parker- they're those guys sitting down. And the one on the skateboard is Vince Lassell. He was the basketball star in middle school, and the most popular guy- but after an argument with Guy, he quit the team and turned his sports talents to skating. And Guy became the most popular dude in school- it's been that way ever since."

Wow. Ashley really wasn't expecting that. When she'd noticed Vince wasn't amongst Gus and the rest of the basketball team, she'd thought he'd either moved away or been snatched up by professionals by now. It had never even crossed her mind that he would be hanging out with the skaters.

_So Mikey's still the same old Mikey, and Gretchen's still the same old Gretchen. Vince is a skater and Gus is a total jerk… but where- and who- is TJ?_

The bell rang, indicating the end of lunch. Mikey and Randall were in gym class together, and Ashley had French. They were in totally opposite directions, so Mikey and Randall told Ashley where to go, said their goodbyes and went off one way, leaving Ashley to look at the small map of the school that Randall had given her.

She heard a voice going, "Psst!" She looked around to see where it was coming from, but everyone she could see was walking to class.

"Over here! In this corner," the unfamiliar voice whispered, and Ashley followed the voice into a dark corner, where she saw a guy stood there, leaning against the wall. He was wearing a long, brown coat and had dark spiky hair.

_Hustler Kid!_

Ashley walked over, and Hustler Kid opened his coat to reveal several small, white packets in there.

"You wanna buy some weed?" He whispered. "I'm selling it for a _very _reasonable price."

"I- uh- don't do drugs," Ashley said, her insides going numb. She ran away, and Hustler Kid shouted, "Come on, don't be boring!" But she ignored him.

As she sat in French class, she thought about Hustler Kid. She remembered how in elementary school he would sell fake hall passes and maps to the teacher's houses. But now in high school, he had obviously advanced to bigger, better things.

She wondered why she'd thought everything would be like Third Street and everyone would just be like taller versions of their old selves. Because she'd been home-schooled, she couldn't see for herself the changes that occurred in middle school and early high school. She should have known people would have changed.

But why? Why did people have to change? Why couldn't everything stay the same all the time? Ashley hated change. It was all pointless to her.

After French, Ashley had math, and as she was walking down, she felt a strong hand push her to the floor. A huge guy towered over her- he was the same size as Mikey, but Ashley got the feeling he wasn't a gentle giant like her friend. He was well muscled, and he wore a black leather jacket and torn jeans. He had brown hair gelled up into spikes, which were tipped with electric blue. He had a silver ring in his eyebrow. He looked more like a rock star than a high school student.

And something about the way he was scowling menacingly at her made her feel very, very uncomfortable.

"You got a name, new girl?"

"Um… Ashley. Ashley Mills."

"Right… well, Ashley Mills, that's a nice name. A name that would look good on a gravestone. Because your name _will _be on a gravestone if you mess with me. Got that?"

Ashley nodded, and the bully glowered at her for another minute before sloping off to class, leaving Ashley very scared. She made a mental note not to cross paths with this guy; because judging by the way he was scowling at her, he was deadly serious about this death threat.

After math, Ashley had science. The teacher, Doctor Black, looked like Santa Claus, minus the beard. He wore a lab coat and smiled at the class as they sat down.

"OK, class… first of all, you're all going to pick a partner, who you'll sit with all year, and do experiments with."

Of course, everyone else had their friends- jocks with jocks, cheerleaders with cheerleaders, nerds with nerds, drama geeks with drama jeeks, skaters with skaters- it was like Noah's Ark. Until there were only four people left- Ashley, Randall, Gretchen and the mean boy from the corridor.

Ashley was hoping she could be partners with Gretchen, and thinking she would probably be partners with Randall. But Randall shuffled over to Gretchen, leaving her with the only person she hoped she _wouldn't _have to work with- the boy from the corridor.

He grinned evilly at her. "We meet again, Mills."

Oh no. Ashley thought of science. She thought of all the dangerous acids and chemicals involved. This guy would probably be such a hazard **(yes Loz, I had to include it somewhere :D)**, and she'd be stuck with him all year.

"Just write your names on the seating plan I'm passing around class, so I can learn all of your names," Dr. Black said, passing the seating plan to Randall and Gretchen, who signed it first.

Ashley and her mean partner were the last to sign their names on the seating plan. Ashley was going to write her name on it first but the guy snatched the paper from her, so violently it caused the paper to tear. He scrawled his name and shoved the seating plan in Ashley's direction.

Ashley was just about to write her name, when she saw what the name was of the boy sitting next to her, and it caused her to almost faint with shock. Because there, in black and white, surrounded by skulls, was the very name that had been running through her head all day, for seven years in fact:

_TJ Detweiler._

**Dun.**

**Dun.**

**DUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!**


	4. Memory Tree

**lozzard-wellard:** **Thought you'd like the Hazzard bit :P Thanks for reviewing again!**

**abby:**** I used to love that episode. That and The Experiment were my favourites. I wish Disney would show them more, but they only show Recess like twice a week (well where I live anyway) and it's always the same episodes over and over again… anyway, thanks for your review :)**

**LaughALife:**** I thought I'd show TJ in more of a bad light, because in nearly every other Recess story you read, TJ is this perfect, sweet, romantic guy, and there are loads of reviews saying 'OMG I wish I could have a boyfriend like TJ!!' so I thought I'd be original. :P Thanks for reviewing!**

**anon:**** Yup, it was pretty shocking :P Anyway, thanks for reviewing!**

**Huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, glad you all like the story! Here's Chapter 4! **

_**Bold italics- **_**Writing**

_Italics- _**Flashbacks & thoughts**

Normal Font- **Normal story :)**

**ENJOY!!**

**Rach :D xx**

Ashley felt like someone had slapped her across the face. How could TJ have turned out to be like… well… like _that_? She'd always thought that when he was older, he'd be the same old TJ. Backwards red baseball cap. A prankster with a heart of gold. Everyone's best friend.

Ashley glanced nervously at the new TJ, a guy she still didn't register as TJ, who was mixing a load of acids together and watching eagerly to see if they'd explode. That was _not _TJ. That was just some stranger with TJ's name.

There was a knock on the door, and Menlo waddled in, looking remarkably like a penguin. "Sorry to bother you, Dr. Black, but the principal wants to see TJ Detweiler."

"Oooooooooooooh!" the whole class chorused, until TJ threw them a death glare and they shut up immediately.

Menlo and TJ left the room, leaving Ashley alone with the bubbling mixture of acids. "Sir!" Ashley said, panic in her voice, but Dr. Black laughed. "Oh, no need to worry, Miss Mills," he said calmly. "I taught Mr. Detweiler last year, and I know about his reputation for mixing the acids together… so I always make sure everything I use is perfectly harmless."

It was odd how Dr. Black spoke about TJ with a fond tone to his voice. How could anyone be fond of TJ, the way he was acting right now?

_But what if it's all a front? What if, underneath, he's exactly the same guy I fell in love with in grade school?_

Ashley remembered all the times TJ had been there for her when no one else was, and it was then Ashley made her decision. She _was _going to see the real TJ Detweiler, whoever that was. A fresh determination swept over her, like a hunger. It was going to be a challenge. But she was ready. She _was _going to succeed. She would find the real TJ if it was the last thing she did.

* * *

"Good morning Ashley! You're looking very classy today," Randall said, and Ashley scowled at him. Everyone in the hallway was staring at her- God knew why. Yesterday she was practically invisible.

"Wanna see the school paper?" Randall said, thrusting a copy of the paper under her nose. The headline was her name, and the picture was a captured moment of shock and horror on her face, because of Randall suddenly taking a photo of her. Ashley snatched the paper from Randall's hands and read the article:

_**Ashley Mills: As Innocent As She Seems?**_

_**Yesterday, a new student joined the senior year at our school. Her name is Ashley Mills, and I had the pleasure of showing her around. To most, she seems like a quiet, normal girl- but is Ashley Mills as innocent as she seems? I, Randall Weens, have uncovered the truth.**_

_**When we ate lunch together, I asked her various questions, but she seemed a little secretive, and I have unearthed the shocking reason behind it…**_

_Oh no. Randall knows. But how?_

_**Ashley was abandoned in a dumster as a baby. Her mom had post-natal depression and was unable to look after her. So Ashley lived in an orphanage for the first thirteen years of life, until she ran away.**_

_What?_

_**Mrs. Edna Foster, owner of the orphanage, said that Ashley was a very sneaky little girl who was always finding ways to make the other children feel intimidated and miserable.**_

_**After Ashley ran away from the orphanage, she lived with her friend for a while. This friend was the only friend Ashley has ever had, and no wonder. But after a while, Ashley used her devious ways to have an affair with her friend's dad, who is 25 years her senior, and her friend's mother kicked her them both out of the house. **_

_**They got a little flat together for a while, but Ashley's lover was tragically killed by a gang, and Ashley was so upset she attempted suicide. She was just 15 at this point.**_

_**After making a full recovery, Ashley discharged herself from hospital and now lives on our streets as a hobo. When she started at this school yesterday, she became friends with Mikey Blumberg. Mikey, if you're reading this, I'd lock up your dad if I were you.**_

Ashley kicked Randall hard in the private area, and was delighted when he groaned in pain. "What was that for?" Randall asked.

"Well what was that for?" Ashley said, pointing to the newspaper article.

"C'mon, you were boring!" Randall protested. "You wouldn't tell me anything. And I had to tell them something! It's my job!"

"D'you really think _anyone's _gonna believe that?" Ashley asked Randall. At this point, a freshman girl with curly hair tapped her on the back. She looked at Ashley in awe.

"Is it true?" she said. "Did you really have an affair with your best friend's dad?"

"URGH!" Ashley yelled, kicking Randall where it hurt again before storming out of school. She didn't care if it was only her second day and she'd make a bad impression. If this was school, she didn't like it- she wanted to be home-schooled again.

Ashley didn't know where she was going, and she didn't care; she had to go somewhere. Away from that place. Away from Randall. Away from all the people with the paper in their hands, staring at her like she was some sort of five-headed alien.

After walking for about half an hour, she eventually came across a lake. The lake was soothing and peaceful, probably the only thing in her life that was.

She sat on the grass and leant against a tree, when she noticed something about that tree. It had initials carved into it.

_**G.G., M.B., V.L., T.J.D. + A.C.**_

Ashley smiled, hearing the voices in her head all over again:

"_Remember that summer when we all carved our initials into that tree?"_

"_Yeah, and Spinelli got hers wrong!"_

"_Hey, I was seven! And S's are tricky!"_

Ashley chuckled to herself, remembering that summer. They'd spent pretty much every day at that tree and had had some good times… including the wedding…

"_We are all gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of TJ and Spinelli," Mikey announced. He was wearing his mom's white silk nightdress and holding a textbook, pretending it was a Bible. Why? Because they were learning about marriage in class, and wanted to know what a wedding was like._

"_Hey, no fair!" Spinelli said, crossing her arms. She was wearing a T-Shirt and jeans because she drew the line on wearing a dress- but she was wearing a hair band with toilet paper under it to look like a veil, so you could tell she was the bride. "Why is it always TJ and Spinelli? Why can't it be Spinelli and TJ for a change?"_

_Mikey sighed, but didn't look annoyed. "Fine, Spinelli and TJ… um, Gretchen, what do I do now?"_

_Gretchen sighed. She was the bridesmaid so she was wearing a yellow dress and holding some yellow buttercups that TJ had picked from Prickly's private garden. "Mikey, I _told _you I should have been the vicar!"_

"_But you're the only other girl!" Vince said, and Spinelli shot him a death glare. "I- uh- mean the _only_ girl. We needed you to be the bridesmaid."_

"_But it would have made more sense if I was the vicar, seeing as I actually _know _the procedure for a wedding ceremony," Gretchen said, irritated. _

"_But then we wouldn't have had a bridesmaid, and Mikey would have had to wear a dress, and everyone knows _boys _can't wear dresses!" Vince said._

"_Mikey wouldn't have had to wear a dress- Spinelli isn't wearing a dress and she's the bride," Gretchen snapped. "And Mikey's already _wearing_ a dress." _

"_Oh yeah…" Vince said, realisation dawning upon his tiny face. TJ sighed. "I don't know what any of you are talking about, but can we _please _get back to the wedding?"_

"_OK," Mikey said brightly. "Uh- I think we have to sing a hymn now."_

"_We don't know any hymns!" Vince said- they all went to church, but none of them could remember any of the hymns they sang._

"_OK- uh- we'll sing Happy Birthday, then!" TJ said, thinking fast. "But we'll sing happy wedding day instead of happy birthday."_

"_Works for me!" Spinelli said cheerfully, so the five tiny voices sang:_

"_Happy wedding day to you,_

_Happy wedding day to you,_

_Happy wedding day dear TJ and Spinelli-"_

"_SPINELLI AND TJ!!" Spinelli screamed._

"_Spinelli and TJ-_

_Happy wedding day to you!"_

"_And now it's time for the rings!" Mikey announced, and Vince, the best man, stepped forward, puffing out his chest importantly. He took out a small box that contained two plastic rings. TJ and Spinelli exchanged the rings, then Vince stepped back: it was time for the 'I do's'. _

"_Do you, Spinelli, take you, TJ, to be your awful wedded husband?"_

"_It's _lawful!_" Spinelli, TJ, Gretchen and Vince chorused. "OK, _lawful _wedded husband then," Mikey said, and Spinelli said, "Yup."_

"_No, you can't say 'yup', you have to say 'I do'," Mikey said, and Spinelli rolled her eyes. "Fine, I do."_

"_I think there's something to do with better and worse and richer and poorer-"_

"_I'm not giving TJ all my money!"_

"_Until death do you part."_

"_What? Death? Why's there something about death in there? Weddings are meant to be happy! And people don't die till they're old anyway." Spinelli said._

"_Whatever… TJ, do you take Spinelli to be you aw- _lawful _wedded wife?" Mikey asked, and TJ nodded eagerly. "I do!!"_

"_Congratulations, you are now husband and wife," Mikey said. "Yay!" Gretchen and Vince cheered, dancing around the tree._

"_You may now kiss the bride," Mikey said, and TJ and Spinelli looked at each other in disgust._

"_Kissing? Ewwwwwwwwww!!" they said together, making sick faces._

"_If I kiss Spinelli, I'll get cooties and die!" TJ said._

"_I'd rather kiss _Randall _than kiss TJ!" Spinelli exclaimed._

"_We went to all that trouble to get married, and all we get is a stupid, lame kiss at the end?" TJ said, and Spinelli nodded. "Yeah, it's stupid, isn't it? Wanna go to Kelso's?" _

"_I'm in!" TJ said._

_TJ climbed onto his bike, and Spinelli climbed onto the seat behind him, holding on tightly to his waist. TJ swapped his hat for a helmet, and handed the spare helmet to Spinelli, who swapped it with for her veil, which she threw onto the grass._

"_Wait, Spinelli, you need to throw the bouquet!" Vince said, and Gretchen quickly ran over to Spinelli and handed her the yellow flowers._

"_Why d'you throw a bouquet?" TJ asked curiously._

"_It's a wedding tradition- the bride throws it into the crowd and people say whoever catches it will be the next to marry," Gretchen said intelligently. _

"_Who'd actually _want _to get married if you have to kiss at the end?" Spinelli said, wrinkling up her nose in disgust- but she threw the flowers anyway. TJ and Spinelli didn't see Gretchen catch them, because the TJ started to pedal the bike to Kelso's, the 'Just Married' sign stuck to the back of the bike proudly on show to the rest of the world…_

"Hello?" a voice said, bringing Ashley back to reality…

**Were you all thinking it was another shock? Well it isn't! And that's the REAL shock! Because you're shocked that there hasn't been a shock in this chapter!! But there IS a cliffie, so if you're ever gonna find out who that person is, I'm gonna need reviews…**


	5. Forever And Ever And Ever

**Thanks again to all my lovely reviewers!**

**lozzard-wellard:** **Of course I don't mind if you use flashbacks in your story! You didn't even need to ask me, it's not like I own flashbacks or anything, loads of people use them :) I loved writing the wedding scene :) thanks for reviewing!**

**abby:**** LOL, no I wouldn't hire anyone named Mikey for my wedding either after writing that chapter :) I really wish that Disney would show The Experiment! Or, better still, that someone could put it on YouTube, so anyone could watch it whenever- it's on YouTube but in Spanish- but at least everyone kisses in the same language, and the kiss is the best bit :) I'm so close to 100,000 words! I think I may scream or something when I finally get there. :) Thank you for reviewing!!**

**animefreak:**** Thank you so much for your review! It really means a lot to me when people tell me my stories are their favourite Recess ones, because there are a lot of Recess writers out there that are FAR more talented than I can ever dream of being. I'll try to make the chapters as long as I can for you. :)**

**I've used a few songs in this chapter- and I don't own any of them. 'What If' is by Kate Winslet, 'Only You' is by Bratz and 'Torn' is by Natalie Imbruglia. So don't sue me!**

**Personally, I don't think this chapter is my best, so please go easy on me :) **

Ashley looked up to find herself looking into the brown eyes of TJ Detweiler. Ashley used to love those eyes… _wait, why am I using past tense? I still _do _love those eyes._

"Good, you're not zoned out… now GET OUT OF MY SPOT!!" TJ yelled. Ashley got up and let him sit down, scuttling a way and sitting on a piece of grass a little bit away from him. She started skimming stones across the lake as TJ lit up a cigarette.

"Want one?" TJ suddenly asked.

"No thanks, I've given up." Ashley lied- she'd never smoked in the first place. She thought it was a horrible habit and had always vowed to herself she never _would _do it. After all, who would actually _want _to kill themselves?

TJ snorted. "Whatever. As if _you'd _actually smoke… you're such a goody-goody." He paused. "Hey, why are you skipping school then?"

"Urgh… Randall wrote a load of trash about me in the school newspaper, and the whole school believes it's true…"

TJ almost smiled- only almost. "Yeah, heard about that. That you had an affair with your friend's dad, and you're a hobo and all that…"

"None of it's true."

"Whatever."

They looked out across the lake.

"So why do _you _skip school?"

"I'm not skipping school. I got suspended."

"What? Why?!"

TJ shrugged. "Starting that fire yesterday…" TJ grinned- it wasn't a real smile, just that mischievous, bad-boy grin he used. "...I was cutting class to have a fag behind the science labs, and I threw it in the dumster… I mustn't have put it out properly."

Ashley remembered Mikey's words to her on the first day. _"It could be… there's this one guy who always skips class to smoke behind the science labs, he's always torching the place."_

"It's a shame," TJ said. "I was really hoping I'd burn the place down- or at least kill some people."

Ashley gasped. TJ Detweiler- wanting to _kill _people? "You don't mean that."

"Oh, but I do," TJ said, suddenly sounding angry. "Who the hell are you to tell me what I mean and what I don't mean anyway? You don't know anything about me!"

_I know you more than anyone else, _Ashley wanted to say, but she couldn't. Because then TJ would know the truth, and she couldn't afford for that to happen.

"There are plenty of people I'd like to kill," TJ said. "Those Ashleys, for a start. My so-called parents and my stupid sister. Randall Weens. Every single teacher in school. Gus Griswald and the entire basketball team. But you know who I'd like to kill more than anyone else?"

"Who?"

"A girl named Ashley Spinelli," TJ said, and Ashley's insides froze. Was TJ really serious about wanting to kill her? Would he do it right now if he knew it was her? Would he drown her in that lake?

"Uh- who's she?" Ashley asked.

"Some girl I went to elementary school with. And I hate her. If I ever see her again, I'm gonna make her pay for what she did to me." TJ said, sounding angry and menacing, but his voice sounding thick.

"Why do you hate her?" Ashley asked, but TJ got up. "That's enough! My life's none of your business. So just leave me alone!"

On that note, TJ stormed off, leaving Ashley alone with her thoughts. Why was TJ being like this? Surely he wasn't being serious about wanting to kill all those people?

Ashley sighed, getting out her iPod and putting it on Shuffle. She put in both earphones and pressed play.

_**Here I stand alone,**_

_**With this weight upon my heart,**_

_**And it will not go away,**_

_**In my head I keep on looking back,**_

_**Right back to the start,**_

_**Wondering what it was that made you change…**_

Then it clicked. It was all her fault. If she'd never left in fifth grade, TJ would still be the same sweet, caring, happy guy they'd all known and loved. If she'd stayed, she and TJ would still be best friends. They'd be closer than brother and sister, just like they were in elementary school. Maybe even something more. She could have gone to him with any of her problems, and he would have sat and listened and made a solution appear. Maybe she could have even told him about… but even if she had, nothing would make _that _go away.

_**Well I've tried, but I had to draw the line,**_

_**And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind…**_

_**What if I had never let you go?**_

_**Would you be the man I used to know?**_

_**If I'd stayed, if you'd tried, if we could only turn back time,**_

_**But I guess we'll never know…**_

Ashley skipped to the next song- she couldn't beat listening to that one anymore, because she knew now that nothing could change what TJ had become, and that just hurt too much.

_**Only you can be the one,**_

_**Even though I know you're gone,**_

_**Only you can fix my heart,**_

_**That's broken, I won't pretend,**_

_**Only you can understand,**_

_**Everything I really am,**_

_**The only one to find my smile was you… **_

Ashley bit her lip as she listened to the lyrics. The song was just like what was going through her head right now. She knew TJ was gone, but she couldn't imagine loving any other guy… seeing TJ the way he was now just broke her heart, and the only way her heart could be fixed was if she could have the old TJ back. TJ had understood her better than else in elementary school, and only he could make her smile when the rest of the world was against her…

_**And I see your face and will not close my eyes,**_

_**And time can't erase the way I feel inside,**_

_**I still remember all we've shared, how much I wish you knew,**_

_**That I miss you… I miss you… **_

Nothing could change the way Ashley felt about TJ; even when she was away, she missed him like hell, and now she was back she just missed him even more, because he wasn't TJ. He was a stranger.

Ashley skipped the song again…

_**I thought I saw a man came to life,**_

_**He was warm, he came around, he was dignified,**_

_**He showed me what it was to cry…**_

_**Well you couldn't be that man I adore,**_

_**You don't seem to know, seem to care, what your heart is for…**_

_**I don't know him anymore…**_

Ashley sighed and put her iPod away. Why did every song have to remind her of TJ? She didn't need music to remind her that TJ was gone and there was nothing she could do about it… because that was all she could think about.

Ashley went to sit near the tree again- TJ was gone and nothing could stop her. Suddenly she noticed something- TJ had left his bag. It was a black and white checkered Vans backpack **(A/N- that's what my schoolbag looks like :D) **and it was half open.

Ashley knew it was wrong to go through other people's property, but curiosity ruled over her morals- she opened the rest of the bag and rooted through the contents of TJ's bag.

There were cigarettes, a lighter and a black iPod Nano. Ashley picked up the iPod and scrolled through TJ's songs, and was thrilled to see that he liked a lot of the same bands as she did- Breaking Benjamin, Kill Hannah, Blink 182, Evanescence and Green Day- and that he also had some really good British music that wasn't that well-known over in America. Spinelli loved British music too. Was that a coincidence?

Ashley also noticed a sketchbook in the bottom of the bag and took it out. Her hands were shaking as she opened the book and saw that wobbly writing was written on the inside front cover: _This book belongs to TJ Detweiler, age 10 and a half._

And there was something else there, too. A heart. A tiny heart, but it was still a heart. The heart had two names written inside it: _TJ AND SPINELLI. _And underneath the heart, it said, _forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. _


	6. Unexpected Friends

**abby:**** WOW, that was a long review. I wish I could write reviews as long as that! Lol, quite an emotional chapter, and I get your point, normally fics don't make me cry but I would probably cry if someone threw something at me while I was reading a fic, depending on what they threw at me. If it was something like a cushion, I'd just laugh, but if it was a stone or something hard and painful like that then yes, I would cry, whilst telling the thrower how much I hate them. :P BUT I doubt anyone will ever throw anything at me whilst I read a fic. :P I might talk about that little Jimmy guy, I don't really know- I like to mention him, but he isn't really a very big part of the story. Yuck, I HATE the Jonas Brothers! I speak a little bit of Spanish, but not nearly enough to understand what they're saying on the video- still, I know how the episode goes anyway, so oh well. :) Thank you very much for your review, and I hope you enjoy Chapter 6!!**

**lozzard-wellard:**** Thank you very much! It's funny, I don't often use songs in fics, scrap that, I've NEVER used songs in fics before, but I just ran out of ideas and thought I'd use three in one chapter :P Anyway, glad you like the story!**

**OK, I know I haven't posted for a while, and I'm tres sorry. I know I said I'd try to post a new chapter every night. But on Monday night I had loads of homework and on Tuesday I was out pretty much all night- you will probably never see me update on a Tuesday, so sorry! And enjoy this chapter! :)**

The next day, Ashley was back at school. Room 9 fell silent as she walked into it for Math class- Ashley could tell everyone had just been talking about her and instantly felt like she was going to be sick. Worse still, when she looked over at her desk, the one to the right of it was empty, meaning one thing: Mikey was absent. So now there was no one to give her a comforting smile to make the worries melt away…

But oh well. Ashley needed to make more friends anyway.

"Hey Gretchen," Ashley said to Gretchen Grundler, who was sitting at her desk right at the front of class, reading a thick, hardback book. Gretchen didn't reply or even look up from the novel, all she did was turn the page.

"Mind if I sit here?" Ashley asked her as kindly as she could, although inside she was a little peeved at Gretchen's rudeness.

"Yes, I do actually," Gretchen said in a monotone voice, still not looking up from her book. "I know you're only asking to sit with me because you want to copy my work. Sitting next to the smartest girl in school is the oldest trick in the book. You must think I'm stupid, when really _you _are the stupid one, and your low intelligence level infuriates me."

"Uh- OK," Ashley said, shocked at how rude Gretchen was.

"Like, Ashley M?" A voice said- Ashley turned around to find herself face to face with Ashley A.

"Uh- yes?" Ashley said, wondering why the Ashleys would be talking to her. Then she realised they would probably just ask her if all the stuff Randall had wrote was true. Ashley sighed, rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to tell them it was all garbage…

"We were, like, wondering if you wanted to sit with us today?" Ashley T. asked.

"Since Mikey's off sick and Gretchen's, like, a rude geek," Ashley Q. said.

Ashley was astounded- the Ashleys, asking _her _to _sit with them_?! "Why are you asking me to sit with you?" she asked, and Ashley B. smiled. "Can we not, like, show some kindness towards a fellow Ashley?"

And before Ashley knew what she was doing, she sat down at the vacant desk next to Ashley T, receiving four perfect, dazzling, white smiles. She wondered why they'd referred to her as a 'fellow Ashley'. She shared the same name as them, but she wasn't an Ashley… was she?

"Omigod, Ashley M, I, like, so totally love your hair!" Ashley T. gasped, and the other three nodded. "Short dark hair is, like, _so _in right now," Ashley A. said. "Just look at Rihanna and Victoria Beckham!"

"Oh… thanks," Ashley said. Never in a million years did she think the Ashleys would ever compare her to Rihanna and Victoria Beckham. "I- uh- didn't know what to think when I first saw it."

"Where did you get it done?" Ashley Q. said, and Ashley bit her lip- she didn't want them to know the truth. "Um, we have a stylist that comes to our house to do our hair."

"I thought you were a hobo?" Ashley B. said, and Ashley A. sighed, rolling her blue eyes. "Like, honestly, Ashley B, this is no time for you to be a bimbo!"

Ashley laughed. "I'm not a hobo. Everything Randall wrote in that article was a lie."

"Oh yeah, well, we Ashleys didn't, like, believe any of it in the first place," Ashley Q. said, and Ashley T. nodded. "Randall is, like, such a mega creep. He needs to get a life."

"So it's, like, not true that you had an affair with your best friend's dad, then?" Ashley B. said. "Only if that _was _true, I wouldn't blame you. I, like, _love_ older men. They're, like, so mature."

Ashley Mills hung out with the other Ashleys all day, and discovered that they weren't really all that bad. They were actually quite sweet and funny once you got to know them. Maybe they'd matured since Third Street.

"We're going to the mall after school, wanna come?" Ashley A. asked. Ashley M, who nodded and smiled. Maybe things weren't going so well with TJ, but at least she'd made a few more friends.

All four and a half Ashleys climbed into Ashley A's pink convertible that bore her initials in white letters on the bonnet **(A/N- think Sharpay's car in HSM2- God I wish I had a car like that! But with my initials on it instead of hers :P)** as soon as the final bell rang as Ashley A. drove them to the mall, loud music blaring on the car stereo. They parked in the mall parking lot and got out of the car.

"We're going to make you look like one of us!" Ashley Q. said excitedly, and Ashley's insides froze.

"Uh… you guys… you don't understand…" Ashley said. "I- uh- I'm not confident enough to wear the sort of clothes you wear."

"You never know if you never try!" Ashley T. said, linking arms with Ashley M.

"Well, I don't have any money…" Ashley began, but all four Ashleys automatically whipped out their platinum credit cards at the same time. It was like a scene from a musical- Ashley almost thought they were going to burst into song.

The Ashleys led their new friend into all the designer stores. Ashley tried on short skirts, tight tops and high heels, all of which were designer. Ashley felt like an idiot, but the other Ashleys said she looked amazing and treated her to a smoothie.

"These smoothies are delicious!" Ashley said, after drinking the very last drop of her strawberry smoothie.

"_And _extremely low-fat," Ashley Q. added.

"Now, we, like, always wear matching clothes but in different colours, because it makes us look cute," Ashley A. said, smiling. "So tomorrow, wear that red corset, black miniskirt and the black knee-high boots, OK?" Ashley nodded, dreading what she would look like in those clothes.

Ashley A. dropped each and every other Ashley off at their individual houses. Ashley B, T and Q lived in huge mansions with swirly gates and neat, green gardens.

Ashley's house had no garden. It was only small- after the divorce and… something else… Ashley and her mom were a little strapped for cash.

"Thanks for everything," Ashley said. "No problem," replied Ashley A as Ashley Mills climbed out of her flash car. Ashley Mills half expected Ashley Armbuster to make some sort of snide remark about her small house… but she didn't. She just said, "See you tomorrow," and drove away.

It was weird, Ashley thought, as she lay on her bed in the dark that night, how people changed. Take Gus, Gretchen and TJ. In elementary school, they were three of the nicest people she knew. And now Gus was a jerk, Gretchen was rude and TJ… well, she didn't know where to start with TJ. She knew there was a nice person in there somewhere, there _had_ to be… she just had no idea how to find it.

Then there were the Ashleys. She used to think those girls were stuck-up snobs. But today, they weren't. Today, they'd treated her like a friend when none of her other friends were around, seeing as Mikey was home sick and even Randall had abandoned her.

Then again, some things had stayed the same. Mikey was still a gentle giant. Randall was still a gossip-hungry creep. And she still loved TJ… whatever happened, she would always love TJ.

She sighed again as she thought back to the changes. Why did they happen? How long did they take to kick in? Once someone has been changed, can you change them back again?

She had never realised that changes could happen to the people she cared about while she wasn't around to see them. A solitary tear slid down her cheek- she supposed she would have to get used to it…


	7. Free Period

**abby:**** Woop, another long review! I do love long reviews :D My favourite Recess episodes are The Experiment (of course), the one where Lawson has his crew and the one where Principal Prickly thinks he's a 6-year-old, I saw it today after all these years and I absolutely love it :D It's weird coz when I was around 8 or 9 I used to LOVE Recess, like I was obsessed with it, I saw every single episode, and it's only because of Fanfic that I've started getting into it again. It's easier for me to watch now that we have Sky, and it's great seeing them all again after quite a few years :) The thing with Ashley Mills/Spinelli being friends with the Ashleys is because a lot of Recess episodes are about discovering that not everyone is as bad as they seem, like the one where Spinelli stays at Miss Finster's house, and the one where Mikey befriends Kurst the Worst. I think it's absolutely ridiculous how the people in spot adverts never have spots in the first place, I think they definitely airbrush people. I LOVE MEAN GIRLS!! What an amazing film :D But back to the point. Thank you for reviewing, and enjoy the chapter!!**

**Prepare for an EXTREMELY shocking chapter- remember the summary? Well, we find out what Spinelli's dark secret is… **

Jaws dropped open as the Ashleys, now with their new member, strutted down the school corridors together the next day.

"Hel-_lo_!" Guy Griswald said flirtilty, not taking his eyes off Ashley's chest. Ashley felt extremely uncomfortable. She knew she used to hate the Ashleys, and that Guy _was _nice when he was Gus- but Ashley still thought he was a jerk who really needed to get over himself.

To take her mind of Guy's hungry stare, Ashley counted the number of guys who did double takes at her new image in the corridor- she got thirteen before she wondered what TJ would think. He was going to be back in school today. Maybe he'd be just as impressed as these other guys and agree to go out with her… but Ashley didn't want a TJ to just like her for her body and wearing tight outfits. Now she thought about it, she be happier if TJ just didn't like her at all- although she _wouldn't _be happy if that happened… why was this so complicated?

Ashley's first period was a free one. The other Ashleys had classes and Mikey was still off sick, so Ashley had no one to hang out with- although she got a number of offers.

"Hey, Ashley, wanna go behind that dumster there?" Guy said. Ashley turned around, and if looks could kill, he would have died, right on the spot.

"I think I would rather scoop out my own eyes with a spork and eat them on toast, but hey, thanks for the offer," she said, and Guy looked slightly amused, slightly confused, and slightly annoyed. "Geez, babe, I was only asking."

There was only one person Ashley really wanted to see right now, and there he was, leaning against a wall, cigarette in hand, looking deep in thought. Ashley wondered what was going through his head…

Until he suddenly came back to Earth with a bang, took one look at Ashley's appearance and burst out laughing.

"What?!" Ashley said, hands on hips, annoyed. TJ, still laughing, said, "Oh God! What the hell have you done at yourself?"

"The Ashleys gave me a makeover."

"I can see that."

"They're not that bad once you get to know them."

"Funny how I'd rather kill myself than spend time with them."

There was an awkward silence. "I don't agree with suicide."

TJ shrugged. "As far as I'm concerned, people can do what the hell they like. I mean, I could understand why they'd want to- life sucks."

"It makes me sick that people would _want _to kill themselves," Ashley said, tears in her eyes- this was something she felt so strongly about. "Life's a gift, and there are loads of people that won't get to experience everything life has to offer, because they die young and against their will. It's selfish that people kill themselves intentionally."

"Whoa… deep stuff," TJ said. "Where did all this 'life's a gift' stuff come from anyway?"

"It's something I feel strongly about," Ashley said.

"I don't even know you and you're telling me all this junk that's on your mind?"

"You may know me more than you might think," Ashley said mysteriously, causing TJ to stare at her suspiciously- not at her chest or her hips or her butt, in her eyes, deep into her eyes.

Then TJ returned to his cigarette. "Maybe you have a point…" there was another silence, then TJ broke it by saying, "My dad was murdered."

Ashley wished she could have seen TJ's face at that moment. He had turned away from her. She wondered whether this tough guy thing was all an act. She didn't know what she'd do without _her_ dad. She missed him incredibly when her parents split up all those years ago and her mom left, taking Ashley with her. And now, after a lot of persuasion, they were back, so that she could see him more before she…

Wait, did TJ say his _dad _was _murdered_? Oh God… Ashley felt all of her insides freeze. TJ's dad had been like a second dad to her in their childhood. "Oh. I'm sorry," Ashley said, trying to hide how upset she was- she didn't want TJ to get suspicious.

"That's what they all say. I dunno if they actually are, though." TJ said quietly. "A gang shot him. They had no reason to. He was a great man. He was kind and funny and smart, and I trusted him with my life. He always seemed to make my problems go away- well, most of them anyway. But the gang didn't care. They killed him anyway. The police just said he was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Did they catch the gang who did it?"

"Yup… and guess what they got?"

"What?"

"Community service," TJ said, his voice shaking with anger. "There's something not right with this world."

"Agreed," Ashley said quietly. And she knew what that something was; time. Because it always had to run out too soon. If it wasn't for time, the world would be a wonderful place.

"When did it happen?" Ashley said after a moment's pause, hoping the answer wouldn't be-

"Fifth grade…"

Ashley immediately felt that feeling again- the feeling she'd got when TJ had first told her about his dad just a minute ago- the one where all her organs froze. But this time it was a million times worse- because she'd left TJ just when he needed her most.

Maybe that was why TJ hated her so much- at least she now understood. It must have been horrible for TJ. He had told her he was in love with her- which must have took a lot of courage… Ashley liked to think of herself as tough, but she would never, ever, _ever _have the guts to confess her true feelings for TJ. And she hadn't said anything. She had a good reason to- but TJ didn't know that. So she had just gone home and left him standing there, bewildered and probably wondering what the hell he had done wrong. Then, even worse than that, it was the last time TJ had ever seen Spinelli- because she and her mother had left immediately after that, and Spinelli didn't even get a chance to say goodbye… then a few days later, his dad had been murdered. Death was a horrible, horrible, horrible thing, and it must have been so hard for a ten-year-old to deal with it when it was so sudden, so cruel and without his best friend there to hold him while he cried onto her shoulder. Sure, he would have had Mikey, Gus, Gretchen and Vince, but her and TJ… they'd always been… _different_. They'd always had this special connection… Ashley could never describe it until now.

They were soul mates.

And Ashley had deserted TJ without even telling him, in what was probably the worst time of his life.

That made her feel like such a terrible person.

"I suppose I always blamed Spinelli for what happened to my dad," TJ said, shrugging. "I always thought that if she was around, then it wouldn't have happened. Coz that's what she did… she took away all my problems. You see, she was my best friend when we were kids… though I'd always wanted to be _more _than just friends. I told her I loved her one night in fifth grade…" Ashley gulped, she knew this story too well. "She just ran away and I never saw her again… she didn't even say goodbye. I was heartbroken. Then a few days after she left, Dad died and I got miserable. Mom didn't care. She did the worst thing anyone could ever do- she replaced Dad. She married this other guy- and then those two had a baby, which replaced _me_. At school, the rest of the group just totally fell apart. You may or may not believe this, but me and Spin were friends with Vince Lassell, Gretchen Grundler, Mikey Blumberg and Guy or whatever he calls himself these days. And I always blamed her for everything."

"It probably wasn't her fault," Ashley said gently. "…she probably didn't want to leave." TJ nodded. "Her parents split up. But she could have at least said goodbye." "Maybe she didn't have time."

There it was again. Time. That stupid, horrible word.

Why did Ashley hate time so much?

Because she was running out of it.

"_Mr. Spinelli, Mrs. Spinelli… Ms. Spinelli," the doctor said, glancing at Spinelli with a sad look in his eyes. "I'm very sorry, but our tests have shown that Ashley has leukaemia."_

"_NOOOO!!" Mrs. Spinelli cried out, bursting into tears. Mr. Spinelli looked angry. "No, that can't be right!" he said to the doctor._

_Spinelli herself couldn't bring herself to be upset or angry. She was just in total shock. So shocked that she had become a block of ice- she probably wouldn't be able to move from the spot._

_Her parents argued in the car all the way home about whether or not they should bother with chemotherapy. "It doesn't always work and it would just put Ashley through even more pain!" Mrs. Spinelli argued. "Oh, so you don't care about our girl, then? You don't want to save her?" Mr. Spinelli snapped back. They argued like this as if Spinelli wasn't even in the car._

_They got home and without a word to her parents Spinelli went up the stairs and into her room. She didn't slam her door behind her- she wasn't angry. She was still in shock. Still in denial._

_She looked at her reflection in the mirror, pale with shock. She wasn't going to die. Only old people died. She wasn't old. She was ten! She wasn't even a teenager yet. She wouldn't even get to do any of the things she wanted to do… and they worst part was, she didn't even know _when _she was going to die. It could happen any time. It could be ten years. It could be ten months. It could be ten weeks. It could be ten days. It could be ten minutes. Ten seconds…_

_Then Spinelli realised. What on _earth _would all the others say when they found out?_

_She didn't want to think about it. There was no one else she cared about more than Gretchen, Mikey, Gus, Vince and especially TJ, and she didn't want to hurt them… she would rather not have them know about it and be happy than find out and get hurt. She did not want to hurt them. It made her sick picturing their hurt faces… _

_And maybe she didn't have to worry anyway. Maybe she'd have chemo and it would work and she'd die an old lady… _

Only it didn't work. She'd had chemo. Her hair had all fallen out and grown back into that short style the Ashleys liked. They'd tried everything. But it wasn't enough.

Last time Ashley had gone to the doctors, he'd said she had just months to live.

**Did any of you see that coming? Look carefully over the chapters- I did drop a few hints. Anyway, hope you liked that dramatic little chapter- please review! Or I will be :( and we don't want that to happen, do we :)**


	8. Secrets Revealed

**lozzard-wellard:**** Hmm, weird… :S But anyway, thanks for your review! (well, reviews :D) Haha, nothing beats the book club book :P Can't believe we got split up though! Hope we get that desk back soon :) **

**ABBY:**** Thanks for reviewing! I may just join you on that protest as Spinelli is simply too awesome to die. She'll be alive forever in my mind anyway!! LONG LIVE SPINELLI! LONG LIVE SPINELLI!**

**Trish:**** Thanks for your review! Sorry the wait for Chapter 8 was longer than usual. Normally I update really fast! Glad you like the story!**

**aussiechick00:**** Haha, you'll have to wait and see ;) Thanks for reviewing, glad you like and as ordered- and begged- here is Chapter 8!! (lol :D)**

**Just to apologize for making you wait so long for this chapter! I've made it a really drama-filled chapter for you, expect the unexpected :) And it's really nice to see 2 new reviewers!! :D Love you all, enjoy m'dears!! :D**

Straight after school, Ashley had to go to the hospital for a check-up. She jumped into her mom's car. Her mom was in a chatty mood, asking her conversational questions about her day; what lessons she had, what her friends had been up to, etc. But Ashley had simply muttered 'yes', 'no', 'don't know' or 'mmm'. She was dreading the check-up too much to say any more than that. Eventually, Flo Mills got the message and the rest of the journey was spent in silence.

After what seemed like years, they finally arrived at the hospital. "Oh, God, there's nowhere to park," Flo groaned. "Go on, Ashley- you'll be able to find the right place on your own, won't you?" Ashley nodded, annoyed- she sometimes thought her mom forgot that she was seventeen. She treated her like a little kid at times. Maybe things would be different if…

"Go on then, hurry up, you don't want to be late," Flo said. Ashley hopped out of the car, found the cancer department, gave in her appointment card to the receptionist and sat in one of the plastic chairs in the waiting room.

She had been sitting there for about five minutes completely on her own when someone else came in. It wasn't her mother, however this person was familiar…

Because this person was Gretchen Grundler.

Ashley's jaw dropped, as did Gretchen's. "What are you doing here?!" they said simultaneously, panic in their eyes.

That was when Ashley noticed who was with Gretchen. A little girl was clutching Gretchen's hand tightly. She was very small with auburn hair in two messy plaits. She had Gretchen's bright green eyes- but when she smiled at Ashley, Ashley noticed her smile too was familiar- but it wasn't Gretchen's smile. But she knew she knew that smile from _somewhere…_

_Then _Ashley noticed how different Gretchen looked. At school, she kept her hair in a neat bun on top of her head and wore smart clothes. Here she was wearing a yellow T-Shirt and jeans, and her auburn hair was tumbling free, falling down almost to her waist.

"Why aren't you shopping with your wonderful friends the Ashleys?" Gretchen said coldly.

"The Ashleys are great people once you get to know them. They can be kind and funny and sweet," Ashley argued. "And why do you only talk when you want to know something? You're really rude and snobby at school."

"I was just making conversation, you can take it or leave it," Gretchen snapped, and they sat in awkward silence for a minute or so, glaring at each other. They had almost forgotten the little girl was there, until she coughed, announcing her presence. She looked annoyed that no one was paying any attention to her.

"Mommy, will you play I Spy with me?" she said, looking directly at Gretchen.

Ashley's jaw dropped- this little girl was Gretchen's _daughter_?! But… she looked about three or four, which meant that Gretchen would have to have been only thirteen or fourteen when she was born, and even younger when she was conceived. And Ashley had no idea Gretchen was that sort of person! She was the model student- answering every question in class, getting full marks in every test, going to the library whenever she could…

Ashley looked at Gretchen suspiciously, and she sighed. "Yes, it's true, just don't tell anyone!" Gretchen hissed.

"Wasn't planning on it," Ashley said, and she was surprised at how gentle her voice sounded. Maybe she was too shocked to be spiteful to Gretchen. "But-"

"Her name's Libby, she's three and no one is supposed to know she's mine," Gretchen whispered.

"But how-"

"I'll tell you," Gretchen whispered. "I'll tell you everything…

"Believe it or not, when I was in elementary school, I was best friends with TJ Detweiler, Vince Lassell, Mikey Blumberg, Gus Griswald and this other girl… Spinelli," Gretchen said, and Ashley's heart started racing- why did everyone bring Spinelli into everything?

Ashley wanted to ask what this had to do with Gretchen having a kid at such a young age, but she decided it was best not to, and Gretchen carried on…

"Anyway, Spinelli left suddenly in fifth grade... TJ had always been in love with her, and he was gutted… especially because his dad was murdered a few days later. He'd always been the glue that held our group together, but suddenly he just… didn't care anymore. He left in fifth grade. In sixth grade, everyone else went their separate ways too. Vince became friends with Sam and Dave and got into skating. Mikey got more involved with drama and literature. And Gus… well… that was the most painful. I'd always had a crush on Gus, right from that first day he joined our class in fourth grade, and back then he was small, pale, skinny, bespectacled and dorky looking. But in the summer between fifth grade and sixth, he changed… a lot. He'd grown to be around six foot tall, he was muscular, he'd had laser treatment on his eyes and the glasses were gone. He started wearing clothes that were considered 'cool'. Sadly, I was not the only one who noticed- Ashley Q. noticed too, and she and Gus started dating.

"Not only was I heartbroken, but I had no friends, so I just devoted myself to my studies. I worked so hard that I almost forgot how lonely I was.

"Then we went on up to middle school, by which point, everyone was getting more and more involved with partying. I always detested the idea of those teenage house parties. I came from a strict family that brought me up against the ideas of underage drinking and pre-marital sex. I thought they sounded extremely unentertaining anyway- I would much rather read a good novel or play chess against my computer.

"But one week, I had to stay with my aunt and uncle… this was when I was thirteen. They were out of town one night on business, so my older cousin Rick threw a house party. At first I avoided it- I sat in my room and tried to read. But the music was so loud, I couldn't get lost in my favourite book. So I went downstairs to find Rick and ask him to turn the music down- but I couldn't find him. I was about to give up and go upstairs when I heard someone call my name- and to my surprise, I turned around and saw Gus Griswald.

"'What are you doing here?' he asked me. I told him that Rick was my cousin and asked him how he knew him. 'I don't… he's a friend of one of Meghan's friends', Gus said. Meghan was this girl he was dating at the time.

"'Oh,' I said, hoping that this conversation would go somewhere. At that point we spotted Meghan and Rick making out. I thought Gus would be upset, but on the contrary, he didn't seem at all concerned. He just shrugged and said, 'I was gonna dump her anyway. Wanna get some punch?' It was only then I realised how thirsty I was, so I walked with Gus over to the punch bowl, not realising at the time that it was spiked punch.

"We drank and we drank and we drank, until suddenly we were making out… it was the best feeling in the world, and before we knew what we were doing we were… um… you know what… in my bed."

Ashley nodded, knowing _exactly _what Gretchen meant, and realising that Libby's smile was almost identical to that of Gus Griswald's.

"It was wonderful… I know I shouldn't have, but I loved every minute of it… but when we woke up the next morning, Gus had such a bad hangover, he couldn't remember any of it. He has no idea what happened."

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"Because I didn't want to ruin his reputation. Imagine how much people would mock him if they knew he, the most popular guy in school, had slept with the geek!"

"You're not a geek!"

"That's what I am to him," Gretchen said, sighing sadly. "Anyway, when I discovered I was pregnant, naturally my parents were furious. They thought I was perfect. They wanted me to be perfect. They wanted me to have an abortion, but I refused. I was definitely not ready for motherhood, but I couldn't have brought myself to kill her. So we came up with a compromise. I spent the whole nine months indoors, whilst Mom wore a baby belly, pretending she was the pregnant one. No one suspected that the real mother was me. Mom told everyone that Libby was her daughter and I was just her elder sister. She tried to get Libby to believe that as well."

"Then why does Libby call you Mommy?"

Gretchen smiled. She had braces on her teeth. "Because she somehow seems to know that I'm her real mom."

Ashley grinned. "She probably has your brains. So… how come you're here?"

Gretchen suddenly burst into tears. "We think Libby has leukaemia," she sobbed. "We're here today to take a test to see if she has."

"I'm so sorry," Ashley said, giving Gretchen a comforting hug, not caring that her tears wet her shoulder. The world was cruel. Maybe she almost deserved to die- she'd had seventeen years on this planet, and she'd done some pretty bad things in her time too. But Libby? Libby was three. She'd not had time for a life. She'd not had time to hurt anyone or do anything wrong. She was a pure, innocent little girl. It wasn't fair that people like her got terminal illnesses at age three when some murderers lived to be a hundred. It wasn't fair- nothing was.

"But- why are you here?" Gretchen said, and Ashley knew it was only fair to tell Gretchen the truth- Gretchen had put trust in her, and it was only fair to trust Gretchen back.

"A check-up… I have leukaemia too," Ashley said, surprised at how brave she sounded. "But… I have months to live."

"Oh, God!" Gretchen said. "I'm so, so sorry…"

"Hey, Pookie, I found a parking space!" Ashley's mom said loudly, coming into view.

The look on Gretchen's face said it all.


	9. The Deal

**abby:**** Good point :) Thanks for reviewing, glad you liked it, hope the dent over your mouth healed up :) No, it isn't my birthday on October 24****th****, I'm just EXTREMELY excited about HSM3 :D Wow, I can't believe there's something we actually don't have in common! I'm a vegetarian too, I think eating animals is cruel and wrong (no offence to people who eat meat) and the whole thing about hair colour is ridiculous. I'm blonde and while I admit that I'm not exactly a genius, if I was completely dumb I wouldn't be sitting here writing a fic. But yeah, thanks for your review!**

**shana852963:**** Thank you so much for your review, glad you like it, and sorry the wait for Chapter 9 was so long in comparison to how quickly I usually update. Hope you like this chapter!**

**idoloveyou:**** Glad you like it, thanks for the review! Also, thank you for reviewing Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece, it is very much appreciated! :)**

**Trish:**** Thanks for your review! Ashley Mills/Spinelli must have been feeling pretty awkward, if I were her, I'd die! I'm sorry the wait for Chapter 9 was so long, enjoy! :)**

**lozzard-wellard:**** The scary thing is they actually aren't based on Liddy & Megan, I actually only realised how similar the names were after reading your review! Thank you for reviewing, glad you like it, enjoy this chapter!**

**Rin Sakura x:**** Thanks for reviewing! Sorry I got the names wrong, I think I got Gus's and Vince's wrong too. I'm sorry it took me so long to add this chapter, I was completely out of ideas, but I hope you like it!**

**Toph94:**** Sorry you think it's a bit over dramatic. I can never seem to write a fic without making it either too boring or too dramatic. But thanks for your review and glad you like it! Also, thanks for reviewing Poor Little Rich Girl- and in response to something you said in the review for that, British education sucks :) enjoy this chapter!**

**Rockthis:**** Again, sorry you think it's too over dramatic. I was trying to show the sweeter side to TJ as well, because he's just pretending to be this tough, badass type, in reality he just needs someone to love him (OMG that sounds cheesy!) Thanks for reviewing, and I'll try to tone the drama down a little bit :)**

**have-a-cookie:**** Coincidental! I wish they'd show Recess more often too :( The Pookie made it about a million per cent obvious, lol :D Thank you so much for reviewing, I'm really glad you like it! **

**aussiechick00:**** Thanks so much for reviewing! I feel really sorry for Libby & Spinelli too, I'm glad you like the story!**

**I just want to say sorry for 3 things. Firstly for making you wait for ages for an update. Secondly because this chapter is quite short and not really my best. And thirdly because this A/N is so long and I know that annoys some people, but the only reason it is so long is because of ALL THE AMAZING REVIEWS!! :D :D :D**

**Seriously guys, thank you all so much. I never in a million years thought I would get so many reviews for ONE CHAPTER. It really makes me happy to know that so many people are enjoying my story. Also thanks for the constructive critism, it's really helping. I'm also happy because I might just get 100,000 words after this chapter is posted! Fingers crossed!**

**Without further ado, here's Chapter 9!! :D**

Gretchen stared at Ashley Mills in shock. But she wasn't Ashley Mills, was she? She was Spinelli. Well, whatever she felt like calling herself these days, she was a liar.

_Liar._ As that word revolved around her head, she felt her shock burn into anger.

"Why did you lie to us?" Gretchen hissed furiously. Ashley felt Gretchen's eyes boring into her, blazing with an livid look that she had never seen before. It kind of scared her. "I didn't lie to you!"

"It's just as bad as not telling us all something that we had a right to know."

Ashley suddenly felt angry- why was Gretchen giving her a hard time just because she didn't want to hurt people? Whether or not she told anyone _was _her decision. And since when did Gretchen have anything to do with what she did with her life?

"Well, don't you think Gus has a right to know about Libby?"

Gretchen opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it again- she knew Ashley was right.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say that you should tell Gus about Libby."

"Are you-"

"Shut up, Gretchen, just listen to me!" Ashley yelled at her former friend, a new, desperate edge to her voice. "Sooner or later, he'll have to find out. He can't just go his whole life not knowing that he's got a daughter. How would you like it if no one ever told you something like that? And the longer you leave it, the angrier he'll be when he eventually _does _find out."

Gretchen sighed. "I guess you're right… but… I just… can't do it."

"Then I'll do it," Ashley said firmly. "He needs to know, Gretch."

They sat in silence for a moment, then Gretchen realised something; Ashley still hadn't answered her question. She opened her mouth to ask…

"I think I remember you!" someone said suddenly. It was Flo, and she was pointing at Gretchen. She and Ashley had totally forgotten that she was there. "You used to be friends with my little Ashley!" Ashley cringed, wishing her mother would just accept the fact that she was growing up.

"Uh… yeah, that's right, I was," Gretchen said, managing a small smile.

"Gretel, is it?"

"Gretchen."

"Nice to see you again, Gretchen," Flo said, smiling warmly at Gretchen before picking up a magazine from the table and flicking through the pages.

Ashley relaxed a little in her seat for a minute, thinking, and hoping, that Gretchen had forgotten her anger and curiosity towards her really being Spinelli and that she wouldn't bring it up again. She felt too tired to answer any more questions about that. What was in the past needed to be left exactly there- in the past, and Spinelli was the past, she wasn't Spinelli anymore. She didn't have any more of Spinelli's feisty fighting spirit. She'd completely given up hope on everything.

"So why?" Gretchen spoke up after a while. Her words were simple, but Ashley knew _exactly _what they meant.

"I guess… well…" Ashley took a deep breath, but then glanced nervously at her mother. "Can we talk about it some other time? In private?"

Gretchen beamed, understanding completely what Ashley meant. It must be awkward talking about such personal things when a parent was around… she could never, ever, ever even _imagine _opening up to her mother. Or her father.

"Elizabeth Grundler?" He said, and Gretchen nodded, standing up. Libby was sitting on a chair, arms folded, pouting at the doctor.

"Me not Eliddabeth!" she said. "Me Libby! That my name! Tupid man!"

Gretchen smiled and ruffled Libby's hair affectionately. Ashley noticed that Gretchen was only smiling with her mouth, there was sadness in her eyes. It must be so hard for her, having to pretend to everyone that Libby was her sister, and to be faced with the threat of losing her.

She remembered something her brother Joey used to say: _Life's a bitch and then you die._ And in Ashley's opinion, truer words had never, ever been spoken.

* * *

The next day was Saturday. On most Saturdays, Ashley enjoyed sleeping peacefully in her warm, cosy bed until way past eleven, but this morning was an unwelcome exception. She was awoken by the sound of her cell phone ringing. She jumped out of bed and saw that her phone alarm said it was 7:13- what kind of weirdo would be calling her at this time?

Well, whoever it was, she was going to tell them to eff off, because she was _not _a morning person.

She glanced at the screen and saw that it was an unknown number. She answered it and growled, "What time do you call this?"

"I don't have time for this, Spinelli!" the voice said, and Ashley panicked- who knew her secret?!

Then she remembered what had happened at the hospital yesterday and relaxed. It was Gretchen. Though she was still calling her at a ridiculously early hour.

"What the hell is so important that you have to call me at 7:13 in the freaking morning?!"

"I want to see if you feel like negotiating."

"Negotiating what?!"

"I've been mulling it over in my mind all night, and I think I have conjured up a reasonably fair solution…"

"Just cut to the chase, Gretchen, what is it?!"

Gretchen paused before saying, "I'm going to tell Gus."

"About Libby?!" Ashley said, suddenly not sounding grumpy anymore- just shocked. She didn't know Gretchen had the guts.

"Yes," Gretchen said. "On one condition…"

Ashley's insides froze. "What?" she said- she had a bad feeling about this 'one condition'.

"If you tell TJ who you are. Who you _really _are."


	10. Don't You Trust Me?

**Rin Naiya:**** Thanks for your review! Haha, you're welcome :D I love that episode 'Parents Night'! I would be so embarrassed if my parents turned up, got all my friends' names wrong and basically humiliated me in front of everyone :P Enjoy this chapter!**

**Fauna Greywolf:**** Sorry I left you hanging there for so long! Thanks for reviewing, enjoy :D**

**shana852963:**** I leave you in suspense because it's part of my charm :) lol, I loved writing Libby's little bit of dialogue, she's adorable, I wish she was my little sister or something :D Thanks for reviewing, enjoy!**

**abby:**** Yay, I'm really, really close now! :D Haha lol, good advice :P Did you hear that Spinelli??... lol, thanks for reviewing, enjoy chapter 10 :D**

**have-a-cookie:**** (and her conscience) LOL, your review made me laugh! Hope you made a good recovery :D Thanks for reviewing, enjoy this chapter! **

**RedAsARose:**** Thanks for the review, glad you like my story! :D Enjoy this chapter!**

**Trish:**** Before school started again I updated really fast, but now, I can't seem to anymore. I think it's either because we get so much homework now we're in Year 9 that I never get time to write, or because I don't have as many ideas as I used to. Anyways, thanks for reviewing, glad you like the story! Enjoy Chapter 10!**

**lozzard-wellard:**** Thanks for your review, glad you like the story! If you want to know what happens then keep reading :D Enjoy!!**

**Jayla Starlight:**** Thank you so much for reviewing! I enjoyed making the characters different, quite a lot of people keep TJ sweet and either make Gus move away or stay the way he is in the series! Will Gretchen tell Gus, you'll have to read to find out :) Enjoy!!**

**GOOD NEWS FOR ALL BRITISH TJ/SPIN FANS!! Disney Channel are showing 'The Experiment' on Tuesday at 10am! :D**

**GOOD NEWS FOR ME!! After this chapter is posted, I'll have FINALLY reached 100,000 words!! :D :D :D**

**Sorry I kept you waiting again, hope you find this is worth the wait :) **

Ashley Mills stared at the cell phone in her hand in horror. It had taken a few minutes for Gretchen's words to register in her mind, and now they had, she could only think one thought: _I can't tell TJ. I can't tell TJ. I can't…_

"You there, Spinelli?" Gretchen asked.

"Don't call me that! I'm not Spinelli anymore, it's Ashley now!" Ashley yelled.

"Well, what do you think?" Gretchen said impatiently. "Are you going to tell him… or not?"

"I can't just decide here and now, Gretchen!" Ashley snapped. "It's first thing in the morning, I'm so tired I think I might collapse and you're expecting me to just ask me some really important question and give you an answer straight away?"

"Yes," Gretchen said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not too sure," Ashley said, and Gretchen must have detected the suspicious edge in her voice, because she said, "What's the matter? Don't you trust me?"

"I suppose I'll have to, won't I?!" Ashley snapped.

"OK, if you don't trust me, then I'll go first," Gretchen said. "I mean, what you said at the hospital was right- Gus needs to know. I'm going to tell him. Today. And you're going to be there when I tell him."

"What?!" Ashley said. "Are you crazy?! I can't! I can't be there when you tell him you've got a kid with him!"

"You don't have to be," Gretchen said simply. "Where do you live?"

Ashley, without thinking, blurted out her address- hey, it was first thing in the morning.

"OK," Gretchen said with an air of smugness in her voice, "I'll be over in around half an hour."

"You're _coming over_?!" Ashley said. "But- but- I'm not dressed! And it's _early_! And… well… you can't just invite yourself over to my house!"

"I know you didn't. But your mom did." Gretchen said, the smug tone still there. "She said at the hospital that I was welcome to come over anytime I want."

"But not at _7:16_-" "See you soon, Spinelli."

Ashley opened her mouth to protest, but Gretchen had hung up. She threw down her cell phone on the floor. "URRGGHH!!" she yelled, not caring who she woke up. She'd been rudely awoken at this ridiculously early hour, it wouldn't kill the neighbours if they had to wake up too.

"Morning, Pookie!" her mom called out cheerfully from the kitchen below.

Ashley angrily stomped into the bathroom to take a quick shower and threw on her oldest clothes. Just as she had pulled her (odd) socks over her freezing feet, the doorbell rang.

She heard her mother answer the door, call Gretchen 'Gretel' and offer her a drink. Then she heard footsteps coming up the stairs and saw Gretchen open the door and come into her room. She looked like she had put a lot of effort into her appearance- her hair was down again, and she was wearing makeup, even though she didn't need it. She was wearing a turquoise tank top, denim jeans and blue dolly shoes.

"Hi," Gretchen said in a business-like tone. She gently laid the black laptop bag she had over her shoulder down on Ashley's bed.

"Uh, hi." Ashley said, staring at the laptop bag. "Why have you brought your laptop?"

Gretchen didn't answer, she just opened up her laptop and started tapping away at the keys like mad. Ashley watched, amazed. She had no idea what she was doing or how she was doing it. She'd kind of forgotten how smart Gretchen could be and how much of a computer whiz she was.

"There!" Gretchen said after a few minutes, sitting back, looking satisfied and triumphant.

"Uh- Gretchen? What was that all about?" Ashley asked.

"Oh! The laptop? I was connecting it to my webcam, look," Gretchen said; she pressed a key on the laptop and Ashley's surprised face appeared on the screen.

"Webcam?" Ashley said. "You… have a webcam… in my room…?"

"No! Who do you think I am, some sort of pervert?" Gretchen said, laughing. "No, the webcam is one I installed in my glasses. It means you can see everything I see, and hear everything I hear using my laptop."

"Ah," Ashley said, realisation dawning in. "So that means-"

Gretchen nodded. "I'm going to tell Gus, and you're going to watch on the laptop while I tell Gus."

"Um… you know, if you'd just said that you'd told Gus, then I-"

"I thought you didn't trust me?" Gretchen cut in, and she smiled when Ashley looked taken aback and didn't reply.

There was a knock on Ashley's bedroom door. "Come in!" Ashley said. It was Flo, of course, with a bowl of snacks in her hands. She gently placed them down on Ashley's bedside table and smiled at the girls.

"You two have fun!" Flo said, smiling and leaving. Gretchen smiled as Spinelli winced; her old friend's mom had not changed a bit.

Ashley looked at Gretchen. She seemed so calm, so collected. Not as if she was going to tell the most popular guy in school that thanks to a one-night stand when they were thirteen, he was the father of her child, whom everyone thought was her sister and could have leukaemia. She felt a sudden rush of respect and admiration for Gretchen- she couldn't even _imagine _staying this strong when she had to tell TJ…

As much as she thought Gus needed to know about Libby, part of her was hoping that Gretchen would back out so she wouldn't have to tell TJ who she really was. But she knew that wasn't going to happen, from the determined look in Gretchen's green eyes as she said, "I'd better be going," and they way she walked out of the door with her head held high.

"Good luck, Gretchen," Ashley whispered to the laptop screen as she settled down on her bed. She watched as Gretchen passed the houses in her street. She passed a few familiar places- Third Street School, Kelso's- even her old street, where TJ would be sleeping…

At last Gretchen came to Gus's house and rang the doorbell. The door was instantly answered by a small, thin woman. She had grey hair in a bob and wore glasses. She was wearing a fluffy pink jumper and no makeup. Both Ashley and Gretchen could see that she looked like someone who'd lost all hope, lost all will to live- they could tell that from the emptiness in her grey eyes.

"Oh- hello," Mrs. Griswold said quietly. "Can- can I help you?"

"My name is Gretchen Grundler," Ashley heard Gretchen's voice say calmly. "I was wondering if I could have a word with your son?"

"Oh- of course you can, dear," Mrs. Griswold said, an empty smile looming across her ghostly face. "Come in… make yourself at home… I'll just go and wake Gus up."

As Mrs. Griswold went upstairs to wake Gus, Gretchen felt nervous for the first time since arriving. She went through to the living room and looked at the pictures on the wall.

Ashley too could see these pictures, all three of them, framed and looking like they were cleaned every day. The first one was of a man in a smart army uniform saluting, and Ashley remembered what Mikey had told her on her first day about Gus's dad being killed in battle in sixth grade. Maybe that was the reason why Mrs. Griswold looked so… in despair.

The middle picture was of a tall man in a suit lifting up a small woman in a white dress- it was obvious that this picture was taken the day Gus's parents got married. Ashley looked sadly at the happiness and love on their faces- she would never have thought the sad, ghostly looking woman with grey hair that had opened the door to Gretchen was the same woman on the picture.

The third picture was taken on a beach. Gus's father had his arm around Gus's mom, and Gus himself was sat on his dad's shoulders, about Libby's age, beaming. He was the spitting image of his dad. The three people smiling out of the photo seemed to have no idea that eight years later, Mr. Griswold would be dead.

Gretchen looked up at the clock. It was ten minutes since Mrs. Griswold had gone to wake Gus. Maybe he wasn't a morning person…

Then suddenly he and his mom were coming down the stairs. Gus was over a whole foot taller than his mother. He was wearing a vest and boxer shorts- and because Ashley only saw what Gretchen saw and not Gretchen herself, she had no idea that Gretchen's jaw had dropped open. What she could see, though, was that once skinny Gus was now extremely muscled and toned- _maybe that's why the Ashleys love him, _Ashley thought.

Gus's eyes narrowed in surprise. "What are you doing here?!"

Ashley was surprised at how calm Gretchen remained. "I wanted to talk to you." Ashley couldn't help but feel proud of Gretchen for keeping it together so much.

"Well, weirdly enough, I don't wanna talk to some geek at seven forty-five in the morning!" Gus snapped, and Gretchen tensed. "Well, you're going to have to, this is important."

There was something which sounded like a squeak from the corner of the room. It was Mrs. Griswold murmuring 'I'll give you two some privacy' before going upstairs.

"This better be good, Grundler." Gus said. "What's so important you had to wake me up at the crack of dawn to come and tell me about it?"

"There's something I need to tell you," Gretchen said, now sounding more nervous than she was before, but she still did not stutter and she still did not back down. "And I'd sit down if I were you, it might come as a bit of a shock."

Gus sat down, wondering what to expect. He hadn't spoken to Gretchen for- well- it had been years now. So what was she doing at his house?

"Do you remember going to a party around four years ago?" Gretchen asked.

"Duh, I'm the most popular guy in town. I went to about a _billion_ parties four years ago." Gus said, and Gretchen snapped, "I don't have time for this!"

"Chillax!" Gus said- he had no idea Gretchen could get like this. "Which party do you mean? And what-" he stopped suddenly, realising exactly which party Gretchen was talking about.

"Rick's."

Rick… Gretchen's cousin. Good old Rick. There were a lot of parties he didn't remember, but he knew he would remember that one forever, for it had been the best one he'd ever been to.

Drinking… dancing… girls… well, one girl.

"I remember that," Gus said.

"Yes, well, Rick is my cousin, and I was at that party too," Gretchen said. "And I don't really know how to tell you this, but…" for the first time, Gretchen stopped to think. "-Something… happened at that party."

Gus looked at his thumbs, wondering why Gretchen had brought this up.

_Gus woke up in a bed. He didn't know whose the bed was, all he knew was it wasn't his bed. _

_And there was someone else lying next to him- in his arms. She had her face turned away from him, and she had silky auburn hair that spilled out everywhere… _

_In an instant Gus remembered what had happened and smiled. He had kissed Gretchen Grundler, the girl he'd always secretly liked, even now he was popular and she was a nerd._

_But then he realised something else. He was naked. As was she. And they were in a bed. Together. _

_He wasn't stupid._

_He groaned, realising what he had done. Thanks to him, Gretchen Grundler had lost her virginity at thirteen. He knew that she came from a very strict family with traditional beliefs. If they ever found out, she would be in so much trouble. And her mind… Gretchen had such an incredible mind. She could probably have graduated from Harvard when she was five. She had so much potential… he didn't want to think that he could have ruined that potential, just for the sake of one night._

_Gretchen stirred, and looked extremely surprised to see him, although if he could work out what happened, so could she. _

_Gus looked at her- she was so beautiful, he just couldn't bring himself to ruin her life. So he did what he thought was best._

"_What… what happened last night?" He asked. "I've got a real bad hangover… I can't remember… anything…"_

_It was all a lie._

And after he went home, the subject was never brought up again. It was like they buried it deep underground for nearly four years… and now, Gretchen was bringing it up again? But why?

"Uh… yeah," Gus said. "I… um…" Gus gulped. "Gretchen, I think you should know something. All this time I've been lying to you. I do remember everything that happened that night."

They sat in silence for a moment, not daring to look at one another. Words could not describe how shocked Gretchen was at that moment. She could only manage one word… "Why?"

"To protect you," Gus said. "I knew you have strict parents… and that… well… if it got out that we'd slept together, then everyone would call you a slut and… well… you're not. You deserve better," Gus finished, looking Gretchen in the eyes.

"But there's something else you should know, and that's why I'm here," Gretchen said. "You see, because of that night… we're both parents."


	11. What Would You Do?

**It's been a week!! Sorry guys :( I feel like such a bad person. So I've written a very long chapter for your enjoyment! 9 pages on MS word, this was. So enjoy!! xx**

**Rin Naiya:**** Yeah, it is quite an annoying word, I thought someone like Gus would use words like that :) I was almost tempted to make Vince say it in this chapter (yes, Vince is back people!!) but I've decided not to :P Anyway, thanks for your review, enjoy this chapter!**

**Jayla Starlight:**** Yeah, go Gretchen!! Must be hard telling the most popular guy in school you have a kid with him… lol, not like I'll need to anytime soon :P Thanks for reviewing, enjoy Chapter 11!**

**abby:**** WOOOOOOOO I MET MY GOAL!! :D Yay me!! Lol, next stop, 200,000 :D (I have a feeling that might take a while… but hey :D) Who's Taylor Swift? I've never heard of her… but I still hate the Jonas Brothers :) (no offence to all those people who are fans of them) Thanks for reviewing!**

**have-a-cookie:**** Sorry I couldn't update sooner! And sorry I caused you to start rapidly breathing and having a rant :D Spinelli now has to tell TJ… evil laugh Thanks for reviewing! xD**

**RedAsARose:**** Coz I'm evil like that. It's part of my charm :D Lol thanks for reviewing, glad you like my story! Enjoy the chapter, sorry its been so long :)**

**lozzard-wellard:**** Yeah lol, a camera in your glasses would be so cool :D (I don't wear glasses but hey xD) Haha yeah lol, last week we were up at like 7:45 texting each other :P Gretchen must have been feeling pretty brave, if I were her I would never have done it :P Lol, thanks for your review, glad you like :D**

**RomyGirl123:**** Thanks for reviewing!! I don't think anyone expected Gretchen to do something like that, everyone always thought of her as the goody-goody and I wanted to surprise people :D Glad you like it!!**

**shana852963:**** Lol, don't ya just love cliffhangers xD Thanks for the review, glad you like it so much! :D**

**spamisthename:**** Hi, thanks for your review! Sorry I didn't update for ages, glad you like my story and enjoy the chapter!! :D**

**Sarina Blade:**** Sorry I don't write as often as I'd like to. Thanks for reviewing!! Yeah, it's amazing how you think of cute little freckle-faced TJ in the cartoon and the badass he is in this :P I love changing the characters lol. Glad you like my story!**

**Lilia-Rose:**** Woop, we have the same name! :D Lol, I hadn't seen Recess for years either because they only ever showed it when I was at school and such, but I've got back into it since I started writing Recess fanfiction, and it's easier to watch now we have a Sky+ box (best invention EVER!!) Lol, thanks for reviewing :D Glad you like it!**

**SweetWildThang:**** Thanks for reviewing!! Glad you like the story, enjoy Chapter 11, sorry I couldn't update any sooner :)**

**Wow, it's great to see so many new reviewers!! :D And good news for you: next week (starting Monday 27****th****) is half term, so updates will probably be faster :D **

**IN THIS CHAPTER!!**

**Gus's reaction!!**

**More drama!! (sorry if you're not a fan)**

**TJ/Spin action!!**

**And without further ado, here is a very long Chapter 11!**

Gus was glad Gretchen had told him to sit down, because if he had been stood up at that moment, he would have fainted.

_Did she just say what I think she just said…?_

The silence was killing Gretchen. After about a moment, she said, "Please, just say something, anything!" She sounded desperate.

Gus, however, couldn't seem to find the right words to say.

"Uh… a kid… wow…"

Even Ashley felt the tension and awkwardness of the moment sitting at home viewing the scene on Gretchen's laptop.

Gretchen nodded. "A daughter, to be precise. Her name is Elizabeth Rose… but no one calls her that… everyone calls her Libby. When my parents found out I was pregnant at thirteen, they were ashamed of me, so they decided to keep her and pretend that her mother was her sister and her grandparents her parents. But she seems to know that I'm her real mom."

Gus felt physically sick.

"She's three years old… but intelligent for her age. She's very pretty- beautiful, in fact. She mostly looks like me, but she has your smile…"

"JUST SHUT UP!!" Gus suddenly yelled, standing up. He couldn't stand to hear about this for a second longer.

"But…"

"I don't care!" Gus snapped. "I don't care about you. You're just some geek at school I had a one night stand did. It doesn't make you special. I've had one night stands with half the girls in school. And I don't care about your freaking kid either. Just get the hell out of my house, I never wanna see you again."

"Why are you being like this?" Gretchen said, the tears starting to pour down her cheeks- Gus's words hurt like a bullet through the heart.

"Because I'm not ready to be a dad!" Gus said.

"WELL YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE!" Gretchen suddenly yelled. "BECAUSE SHE MIGHT HAVE LEUKEMIA AND IF SHE DOES AND WE CAN'T CURE IT THEN YOU'LL NEVER GET TO SEE HER AND THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY!!"

As Gus watched Gretchen walk away, he felt a strange, unknown feeling he had experienced before, but not for a long, long time. He wondered what this feeling was and when the last time he felt it was; that was when it hit him. The last time he'd felt it was back in third grade when he wasn't known as Gus, not even as Guy… but as El Diablo… the dodgeball legend, and a dodgeball he'd thrown accidentally hit a little kid who was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And that feeling was guilt.

Only now it was a million times worse than it was back then; Gus had never felt like such a dick before in his life… ever.

"GRETCHEN!!" He called after her, but she did not look back.

* * *

Ashley felt terrible as she sat in her room waiting for Gretchen to return. This was because of two things: firstly because she hated the way Gus spoke to Gretchen and she was so mad at him she wanted to break every bone in his stupid body, and secondly because now Gretchen had told Gus the truth, she knew she would have to tell TJ.

Gretchen came into Ashley's bedroom. She smiled, but the smile seemed weak, strained and fake, and Gretchen couldn't look Ashley in the eyes.

"Are you OK?" Ashley lamely asked, knowing what the answer would be.

But Gretchen lied. She nodded, quickly packed up her laptop and rushed out of Ashley's house. Ashley couldn't blame her- she probably wanted to get home as quickly as she could, lock herself in her room and cry into her pillow. Ashley knew she would. She wasn't the same old tough girl she was in fifth grade. Things changed.

Ashley picked up her cell phone and sent Gretchen a message:

_I'll tell TJ at school on Monday._

* * *

Ashley was shaking as she watched her mom's car drive away on Monday. But she remembered the hurtful, cruel, icy words Gus said to Gretchen on Saturday and knew she had to do it. For Gretchen. If Gretchen could tell Gus something as big and scary as the fact that they had a kid together, then surely Ashley could do something as little and simple as tell TJ who she was… who she really was. And Gretchen was right… he had a right to know.

She was just worried what he'd do to her _after _he knew.

She looked down and smiled despite everything- she was wearing the one part of Spinelli she'd kept- her boots. Those famous boots that had once belonged to her brother that she clomped around the Third Street corridors in as a little kid… They were always too big for her and they only just fit her now. She was hoping the boots would fill her with the brave, courageous spirit Spinelli was all about.

She headed towards the science labs, feeling more sick with every step- boots or no boots, when suddenly she felt a strong hand grab her by her collar and throw her against a wall…

She looked up, shaking, to see an extremely overweight guy standing over her… no, wait- it was a girl! This girl looked a lot like a guy- she had the build of a sumo wrestler and the facial expression of a bulldog chewing a wasp. She had messy red hair and food all around her scowling mouth. She was wearing an extremely revealing outfit.

Ashley slowly began to get up, but the girl kicked her, hard, in the side. "Ow!" Ashley moaned. "Shut up. You had it comin'. You ain't goin' nowhere, bitch." The girl said sternly.

"Who are you?"

"Kristin Kurst," the girl said, and Ashley thought, _that explains a lot._ "But the question is, who are _you_, bitch?"

"A-Ashley Mills," Ashley stuttered. "What… what do you want??" she asked, confused and scared- what had she done to upset the girl they used to call 'Kurst the Worst'?

"It's not what I want. It's what's _going _to happen." Kurst said. "I've been watchin' you, Mills, and I know you've been sniffin' around TJ Detweiler."

"Have I hell!"

The girl kicked Ashley again. "You will speak when I ask you to. Did I ask you to? No I did not. So SHUT YOUR TRAP!! And don't lie to me. I _know _you want TJ. Well I'm here to tell you you can't have him. He's mine, OK? MINE! And if I _ever _see you talk to him… touch him… look at him… even _think _about him again… then **you will pay. **Understood?"

Ashley nodded.

"Good," Kurst said, staying to give Ashley a death glare for a moment before angrily stomping away.

Ashley remained on the floor, too shell-shocked to get up. She knew she should have been scared because of Kurst the Worst's warning, but she didn't. Instead, she was relieved… relieved because now she had a good excuse not to tell TJ.

Trying to get the picture of Gretchen's disappointed face out of her head, Ashley got up and headed inside.

The Ashleys and the jocks were standing in a circle in the corridors, looking strangely smug about something. Ashley noticed Gus was hanging back, looking deep in thought- Ashley hoped he was regretting what he said on Saturday.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Ashley said.

Ashley T. showed Ashley M. the school paper, and Ashley M. gasped as she read the headline:

_**MIKEY BLUMBERG FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE**_

"Tell me this isn't true!" Ashley said, not believing what she was seeing- not _wanting _to believe it.

"Are you kidding? Do you realise how much better off we'd all be if that dirty faggot died?" One of the jocks said, and everyone apart from Gus and Ashley M. To Ashley M's disgust, the other four Ashleys were squealing with laughter.

"Mikey's my friend," she said to them.

"Like, so?" The four of them said in unison.

"I thought you were my friends too!"

The jock that had said the horrible thing about Mikey laughed. "They never actually liked you, you know. They only hung out with you because you were the school celebrity."

"Yeah," Ashley Q. said, flipping back her auburn hair. "But now, you're, like, last week's news."

Ashley's eyes watered- Mikey was fighting for his life, the people she'd thought were her friends had turned out to be horrible… Ashley turned around, running out of school, article in hands.

_**Mikey Blumberg was admitted to hospital on Friday night after being beaten up by some guys. He was punched, kicked, jumped on and stabbed, then left for dead on the street.**_

_**Although we do not know who did this, we can't blame them- he probably tried to get them into his car for gay sex. If we ever find these guys, we should let them know they are heroes and dedicate a day to them.**_

Ashley's insides burned with anger- how _**dare **_Randall write that about her friend Mikey?

"RANDALL!!" Ashley screamed, spotting the hunched, curly haired little rat. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!"

But as she tried to attack Randall, she felt hands grabbing her around her waist, pulling her back. She turned around to see Gus Griswold standing there.

"Don't. He's not worth it," Gus said. "I'm… uh… sorry about Mikey. I know you two were friends."

"_Are _friends. It's not like he's dead or anything," Ashley said angrily, not able to forgive Gus for the way he treated Gretchen on Saturday.

"Right. Uh… you want me to take you to see him?" Gus said, and Ashley nodded, not caring that Gus was a jerk- it wasn't like she'd have to talk to him, and all that mattered was that she'd be there for Mikey when he needed her.

"Wait up man!" A voice said- Gus and Ashley turned around to see Vince, standing there, skateboard underneath his arm and skateboard patterns on his socks.

"Gus, my man," Vince said sadly, "just heard about Mikey… it's bad, man."

Gus nodded. "Ashley and I were just going to see him… come if you want." **(A/N- LOL, it's funny how they always just skip school when they feel like it :P)**

Gus hopped into the drivers seat of his sports car, whilst Ashley sat in the passenger seat and Vince got in the back. They drove in silence down those unpleasantly familiar roads to the hospital, each wondering what to expect.

Gus parked the car and the three got out. The receptionist eyed them with some suspicion.

"Shouldn't you three be in school?"

"We're here to see a friend," Gus said. "Mikey- I mean Michael Blumberg."

"Well… he's still in a coma so he'd have no idea you were seeing him… but just go in the waiting room anyway, see what the doctors think," the receptionist said.

They went into the intensive care unit, and Ashley felt sick- this could possibly be the place where her life ended, and she didn't know when that day was going to come- all she knew was it would be some day soon, and that she was nowhere near ready.

They came into the waiting room of the department to find someone was already sat there.

"Gretchen!" Gus said, rushing over to sit next to Gretchen, sitting at her side and taking her hand. Gretchen looked at him with disgust in her green eyes and pulled her hand away.

"Please Gretch… you've gotta listen to me… I'm sorry… I didn't mean anything I said on Saturday…"

Ashley thought Vince looked puzzled, but then again, he always looked puzzled.

"Gretchen… please…"

"Shut up," Gretchen said flatly. "This isn't about Saturday, or us or anything else. This is about Mikey."

"This world is, like, totally messed up," Vince said. "Mikey's such a good dude… never do anything to hurt anyone… and, like, here he is, in intensive care…"

"He'll make it," Ashley said, "I know he will."

A doctor came in and said, "Who are you?"

"Ashley Mills, Gretchen Grundler, Vincent Lassall and Gustav Griswold- we're all friends of Michael Blumberg," Ashley said.

"Um- OK… you all look sensible enough," the doctor said. "It's nice to see he's got some friends- poor guy was in a bad state. Follow me."

In silence the four teenagers- who hadn't spoken to each other for years, but now seemed… almost like friends… followed the doctor into the intensive care ward. As they stopped at Mikey's bed, Gretchen immediately burst into tears- and Ashley understood why. This wasn't the Mikey they all knew and loved. This Mikey was covered in scars, wired up to beeping machines, completely dead to the world.

Gus wrapped his muscly arms around the sobbing Gretchen, who did not protest; she needed comfort and Gus was giving that to her- she didn't see why she should protest.

Vince saw that Ashley was shaking and put his arm around her shoulders in a friendly, brotherly sort of way- Ashley did the same around his shoulders.

"How could anyone do this?" Ashley asked, trying to fight the tears forming in her brown eyes.

"I don't know, Ashley… I just don't know," Vince said, his voice thick.

"…I do," Gus said after a brief pause, not meeting anyone's eyes.

Gretchen looked up at him through misty eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Well… on Friday night, a couple of my friends said they were gonna 'give that fat faggot what he deserved'…"

"AND YOU DIDN'T STOP THEM?!" Gretchen roared.

"Gretch, chill man, we're in a hospital!" Vince said.

"Well… I had no idea they were gonna go… this far," Gus said sheepishly, staring at his feet.

"You _idiot_!" Gretchen yelled, when suddenly, the curtains around the five of them opened, and Ashley's heart skipped a beat- standing there was TJ.

"Sorry I'm late," TJ said, "I had to give that idiot Randall what he deserved for writing all that crap about Mikey in the school paper. And while I was at it, I gave every single one of your stupid little friends a black eye," He looked at Gus, who nodded. "They deserve it, I guess… I think I've realised who my real friends are now." He smiled at all of them.

Vince too smiled. "This wasn't exactly the old gang reunion I had in mind."

"Yeah, but there's someone missing," TJ said bitterly. "Spinelli would be here if she had any morals. Spinelli would be here if she still cared about us."

Anger surged through Ashley's veins- how dare he say that? Ashley thought back to the first day of school- she was the one who was Mikey's friend, she was the one who showed him kindness, who sat with him even though the rest of the school- including those four- shunned him because of his sexuality.

"Maybe she's with us in spirit," Gretchen said gently, catching Ashley's eye.

After that mention of Spinelli, an awkward atmosphere hung over the reunited friends like a dark cloud. Then, after they spent about an hour standing there, thinking their own thoughts, Gretchen spoke up: "We should get back to school."

"Yeah, our teachers will be mad at us," Gus agreed.

"I… I think I'm gonna stay a little bit longer," Ashley said.

"But… you'll need a ride back to school," Vince said, "and Gus and Gretchen are the only ones who've brought their cars."

"No they're not," TJ said, shaking his head. "I've got mine. I'll give Ashley a ride back. I'll stay with Mikey for a bit longer too."

Gus, Gretchen and Vince nodded. "See you later," they all said, leaving Mikey, possibly until the next visit, possibly forever.

It was only when the other three were gone when Ashley started to cry.

"Stop crying," TJ said, in his no nonsense, tough guy voice. TJ hated it when people cried. Crying never solved anything. You could cry and cry and cry for days, yet the bad stuff would carry on happening, the world would still be messed up.

"Sorry," Ashley said, sniffing.

They spent a moment in silence before Ashley remembered what had happened before with Kurst; it was hard to believe that that had only happened just under two hours ago. This was a long, eventful day- Ashley decided she didn't want to go back to school, she wanted to go home and run herself a nice, hot bubble bath. She probably couldn't handle school anyway- she didn't want the others to see her break down.

Maybe that was why she waited until Gretchen, Gus and Vince were gone before she started crying- because she didn't want them to see her cry. Oddly enough, she felt like she could cry in front of TJ, but she didn't know why.

"Whatever," TJ said, but he suddenly grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Ashley was glad he did this, she needed comfort. Although now she was almost alone with TJ, she was getting this lurching feeling in the pit of her belly, knowing she would have to tell him soon, although now, standing next to what could be Mikey's deathbed, it didn't seem appropriate…

"So… are you dating Kurst the Worst?" Ashley asked, and TJ burst out laughing.

"God, Ashley, you crack me up. As if I'd go out with _her_." TJ paused. "Although she seems to think I'd _want _to. She follows me home from school. One night I even caught her going through my garbage… It's quite scary really."

Ashley laughed despite everything- having Kurst the Worst as a stalker would be scarier than having her as an enemy.

Ashley looked at Mikey, all wired up to those heart monitors, his life hanging in the balance. He didn't ask to be here. He didn't want to die aged seventeen because of some stupid guys.

Life was too short.

That was when Ashley realised. Why was she wasting her last few months hiding from everyone? She should be making the most of life while she could.

"TJ? Can… can I ask you something?" Ashley asked TJ.

"Sure," TJ said, and Ashley took a deep breath.

"Well… if you knew you didn't have a lot of time left… then what would you do?"

TJ looked into Ashley's eyes for a minute, and Ashley could tell from the spark in his chocolate brown eyes that he was deep in thought.

Then he said, "I dunno… I guess I'd just do all the things I wanted to do… like this, for example."

And he leaned in and kissed her.

The kiss was sweet and soft and magical and tasted amazing.

Ashley was thinking: _Oh my God!! I was _not _expecting that. He is _such _a good kisser!!_

And TJ was thinking: _Oh my God. I've kissed her before…_


	12. Give Me A Chance

**Hi guys! I'm back! Sorry it's been so long! I would like to take the opportunity to tell you that HSM3 IS AWESOME!! I saw it on Friday night and it was absolutely amazing and I loved it! And now some words to those amazing people who reviewed the last chapter:**

**spamisthename:**** Thank you for reviewing! Glad you liked that chapter, sorry you had to wait so long for this one! Enjoy!**

**Fauna Greywolf:**** Thanks for reviewing! Sorry I didn't update for ages, glad you liked Chapter 11! Enjoy!**

**shana852963:**** sniff poor Mikey… I love him, he's my favourite character in the show xD And yup, Gus was a jerk, if I were Gretchen I'd have slapped him :P Thanks for reviewing!**

**Naoki Tsunari:**** Thanks for the review! Glad you liked the ending, I seem to like cliffhangers :P Sorry I couldn't update sooner!**

**Lilia-Rose:**** I know, poor Mikey! I love him so much, life would be sweeter if everyone was moor like him :D I love the Gretchen/Gus pairing, I think they're so sweet together :D Thanks for reviewing!**

**Trish:**** Why thank you!! It was about time I got some TJ/Spin action in there :D I thought it would probably take something sad to bring the gang back together :) Thanks for the review!**

**aussiechick00:**** I'm so sorry it took 8 days to update :'( Hope you haven't died because of loss of patience, I'll try and get more chapters up this week! Thanks for reviewing!**

**SweetWildThang:**** Omg thank you for your review!! :D Glad you like it so much, enjoy this chapter!**

**GreenandPurpleMonkeys:**** Thanks for your review! Glad you like it :D It was about time TJ and Spin kissed again!! Sorry you had to wait so long before I put the chapter up, enjoy!**

**have-a-cookie:**** Yup, poor Mikey :( Pretty much everyone loves Mikey lol :D He really is like the BFG… except he doesn't have huge ears and eat snozzcumbers :D Gus is such a goon, haha new name, Gus the Goon :P Thanks for reviewing!!**

**lozzard-wellard:**** LMAO the DVDs rock :P 'I'm a regular wedge of CHEESE!!' :P We both laughed for about a YEAR at that :P I wanna be a cheese for Halloween :( OK I'm just rambling on now so thanks for your review!!**

**Luvmusic:**** Thanks for the review! I like the Gus/Cornchip Girl pairing too, but it depends on which story it is. Sometimes I like Gus/Cornchip Girl and Gretchen/Vince, and sometimes I like Gretchen/Gus and Vince with someone else, maybe an Ashley. But I've brought Cornchip Girl into this chapter for you :) Glad you like the story!**

**Sarina Blade:**** Thanks for reviewing! Glad you like the story! Sorry I didn't update for ages, hopefully I'll be able to write more often this week :D Enjoy!**

**abby:**** I listened to one of her songs on YouTube, 'Love Story' and I really like it :D so thank you! And thanks for the review :D Yup, I'm a bit goal crazy, having goals keeps me motivated :D Poor Gretchen indeed :( Enjoy the chapter!**

**RedAsARose:**** LOL, I find it annoying when I'm reading someone else's fic & they end with a cliffie, so sorry :D Thanks for your review, enjoy this chapter!**

**Jayla Starlight:**** Thanks for your review! That was probably one of my more eventful chapters, probably because it was the longest… :) Jockasses are stupid! I live in the UK so we don't really have them (thank God) but they're probably like the American equivalent of chavs which we have over here and they are AWFUL!! Stupid jockasses/chavs, Mikey doesn't deserve it :'( Kurst always seemed like such an angry person in the cartoon, like in 'The Girl Was Trouble' when she has that food fight with Gretchen, so I thought that wouldn't have changed :) And poor Gretchen, Gus was such an idiot! But he does seem sorry hmm… Bleurgh, the disgusting kid you know sounds annoying / And TJ & Ashley kissed!! Muahahahaha… glad you liked that chapter, enjoy this one!!**

**It's my half term week!! WOOOO!! I probably won't be able to get up anything in the second half of the week as on Thursday I'm at a sleepover, Friday is Halloween and on Saturday I'm going shopping and then to another sleepover :D I've got quite a lot of homework (damn teachers!! Holidays should mean holidays!!) but I'll try and fit in my writing around that because you are such an amazing audience and you don't deserve to be kept waiting!!**

TJ pulled away from the kiss instantly and looked hard into Ashley's eyes, searching for any trace of the person he had just been reminded of. But surely…? She wasn't…? She couldn't be…?

"I… I think I've kissed you before," TJ said, and Ashley looked into his brown eyes and saw the spark of recognition there…

But…

"No, you haven't," Ashley said, running a hand through her hair. "It's… um… probably my style of kissing."

"It's not," TJ said, shaking his head. "I've only ever kissed one girl in my life… many, many years ago… but I can still remember the exact way she kissed me, and… well… it was so similar to how you just did…"

"Kissing styles," Ashley said, getting nervous. "Um… I read about it in a magazine."

TJ looked at Ashley, knowing that all this junk about kissing styles was exactly that- junk. Ashley was hiding something- and TJ now knew exactly what that something was. Suddenly all the pieces fit together.

"You're Spinelli," TJ whispered.

Ashley stood rooted to the spot, feeling like she was going to vomit any second now. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't lie to TJ- but she couldn't face up to the truth.

So she ran.

She ran all the way out of the hospital and down towards her house, not stopping, not even daring to look back.

She had no plans to go back to school. She was exhausted from all the running and all the drama of the day. Besides- what use was school anyway? What was the point in getting an education when it wouldn't belong before she was dead?

* * *

Back at school, it was free period. Rather than spending it practising basketball or making out with some girl, Gus Griswold was sitting in the library, pen in hand, deep in thought.

Suddenly, someone lightly tapped his shoulder. He turned around instantly, hoping to see Gretchen- but he wasn't entirely disappointed when he saw who it _really _was.

"Cornchip Girl…?"

The girl nodded, smiling shyly. "Yeah… but I go by Annabelle now." **(A/N- I don't know if that's her real name.)**

Annabelle hadn't changed much since Third Street. She had grown taller since the last time Gus saw her, but she was still small for her age- she wasn't an inch over five foot. She still had a heart-shaped face and big, brown eyes- but she had grown out her silky, dark brown hair. Instead of the bob she wore it in as a child, she had it spilling down her back. She wore a floaty white dress with flip-flops.

"Well… hi," Gus said, not knowing what else to say.

"Why are you here?" Annabelle asked him, sitting down in the empty chair beside him.

"Well… I… uh… what do you mean by that?" Gus asked.

"You know… it's free period and the most popular guy in school is spending it in the library. Something's up." Annabelle said.

The truth was, Annabelle had been Gus's first kiss…

_He was in sixth grade and she was in third, and it was the night after his father's funeral. He couldn't bring himself to go to the wake- he didn't want to hear people telling him what a great man his dad was, because he knew that already, and telling him his father was a great man wouldn't have brought him back._

_Gus chose instead to sit in the park on a swing, alone, watching the sun go down and thinking about things, when Annabelle- known back then as Cornchip Girl- nervously walked up to him._

"_Hi," she said, shuffling nervously._

_Gus smiled but didn't mean it. "Hi."_

"_I… um… heard about your dad," Cornchip Girl said quietly, in a voice that was little above a murmur. "And… um… I'm sorry. I wanted to go to the funeral today, but my dad wouldn't let me."_

"_Um… thanks," Gus said, and then he kissed her. It was a brief kiss, but it had made Gus feel a little bit better. _

"Well… I'm kinda… trying to write a poem for this girl I like… well, I love her, really," Gus said. "But… I made a mistake and well… I'm just trying to show her I care about her."

Annabelle's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Wow… and to think just last week you couldn't take your hands off Ashley A's butt."

Gus smiled weakly. "Yeah… things have changed."

"Need any help with the poem?" Annabelle asked.

"That's very sweet of you, but… well… you're a freshman…"

"I take junior English," Annabelle said. "But you don't have to write her a poem to show you care. There's lots of other ways."

"Like what?"

"Just talk to her… and tell her how sorry you are… from the heart."

"I'll give it a try," Gus said, knowing it probably wouldn't work- Gretchen wouldn't listen to him, and why should she? He didn't deserve someone like Gretchen.

"Who's the girl?" Annabelle suddenly asked.

Gus blushed. "Gretchen Grundler…"

Annabelle smiled, somewhat sadly. "I knew it," she said. "I remember in elementary school when you had that really big crush on her and you looked at her like a puppy… I remember wishing I was her."

Gus smiled- he had no idea his crush on Gretchen had been that obvious.

"Gretchen's a lucky girl," Annabelle said. "And if she turns you down… well… I think she's making a big mistake."

Gus smiled. "Thanks, Annabelle… for everything."

"No problem," Annabelle said, smiling. "Well… good luck," she said, turning around and walking straight into Vince.

"Oh… sorry," Annabelle mumbled, going bright red.

Gus grinned. "Vince? You remember Annabelle, right?"

Vince's usually blank, distant look had been replaced with an alert, excited look. "Uh, not really…" he said, surveying Annabelle with interest.

"She went to Third Street, used to be known as Cornchip Girl, remember?"

Vince's eyes were on stalks. "No way!!"

Gus nodded, smiling- it was obvious that Vince was getting a fast crush on Annabelle, and she returned his feelings. Gus still cared about Annabelle even though he knew Gretchen was the one he was in love with, so he was happy for her.

"Vince, do you know where Gretchen is?" Gus asked him.

"She was in the science labs last time I saw her, have you seen Ashley Mills?"

"Nope, not since we left the hospital. She might still be there, she and Mikey seemed close."

"OK, thanks Vince!"

Gus grabbed his bag and his poem and ran to the science labs, where he found Gretchen, wearing safety goggles and a white lab coat, watching a blue liquid bubble in a test tube and scribbling something down. Gretchen was allowed to go down to the science labs and do experiments any time she had a free period.

"Gretchen?"

Gretchen looked up, her eyes bubbling with anger like the liquid- she couldn't believe Gus had the nerve to even go near her.

"Hi," Gus said, smiling sheepishly and looking at the ground.

"What do you want?"

"I just want you to listen to me… to give me a chance."

"Why the hell should I?"

Gretchen wasn't even looking at Gus- her eyes were fixed on the blue liquid and the notes she was taking.

Gus got down on one knee. "Because I love you, Gretchen Grundler, more than anything else on this earth… and I mean that from the heart. I'm sorry I spoke to you the way I did on Saturday. I was just in shock… I mean, you told me I had a kid, and I'm seventeen, and I didn't think I was ready… but I am now. I would do _anything _for you, Gretchen, and I mean that. I want to be part of your life. I want to marry you and watch our daughter grow up and have more children with you and watch them grow up and grow old with you. I want to wake up beside you every morning and kiss your forehead and tell you every day how you are the most beautiful, wonderful woman alive, how happy being with you makes me feel and that I will love you until the end of time."

Gretchen was looking at Gus now. Both of them were in tears. Gretchen looked at Gus, not knowing what to say.

"Get up," she said. Gus got to his feet and she flung her arms around him, kissing him full on the lips.

"I- I take it that means I'm forgiven?" Gus said.

Gretchen laughed. "Of _course _you're forgiven! I love you more than words can describe."

Suddenly, Gretchen's cell phone began to ring. She took it out of her pocket and squeaked when she saw the caller ID. Her naturally pale skin seemed to get even paler.

"It's the hospital!" Gretchen whimpered. "They'll have news on Libby! And I… really don't…"

"Shh," Gus said, stroking Gretchen's beautiful, soft, silky hair. "It's OK… I'm here."

Gretchen answered her phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Miss Gretchen Grundler, mother of Miss Elizabeth Grundler?" The doctor asked.

Gretchen said, "Yes, it is."

"This is Doctor Marshall, I'm just calling with your daughter's test results…"

"Um, OK…"

"I'm very pleased to tell you that the tests were negative. Your daughter does not have leukaemia."

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Gretchen screamed, jumping around like an elementary school kid whose team had just won a particularly challenging game of kickball. "Thank you thank you _thank you_!!"

"You're very much welcome, Miss Grundler," the doctor said. "Have a nice day."

Gretchen pressed end call and flung her arms around Gus, who was smiling- he knew from Gretchen's happy response that the news was good, and that Gretchen cared immensely about her daughter. Gus lifted Gretchen into the air and spun her around as they both laughed- the happiest either of them had been for a long, long time.

* * *

TJ stood in the hospital, flabbergasted. A million voices were all talking at once inside his head.

_She's Spinelli._

_She lied to me._

_She's gonna pay._

_I love her._

They repeated over and over again until he felt like he wanted to scream. It was making his head hurt; he couldn't think of anything else.

He didn't know whether to be mad or happy or relieved. More than anything, he was confused.

TJ cracked his knuckles and thought to himself; he needed answers. He needed to know why she didn't tell anyone who she was and why she went away. And then he was going to make her pay for all the heartache he had suffered…

He walked out of the hospital with fists clenched. He was going to find her and he didn't care how long it took…


	13. Confrontation

**I haven't updated for over 2 months… that makes me feel like such a bad guy!! I officially HATE myself for doing this to you, and I really, really, really hope it doesn't happen again. :( **

**Wow, the replies to reviewers are gonna be more words than the actual story!! Here goes…**

**Tsukiko Hizami- Naoki-:** **Thank you for reviewing!! I really appreciate it :) I'm sorry it took me ages to carry on! And thanks for telling me about her real name, I might make it so she's one of those middle name people, she can be called Theresa Annabelle but prefer her middle name :D **

**Trish:**** Of course you can do those songfics!! I look forward to reading them :D Glad you liked the story and what happened to Gretchen, Gus & Libby- I'm happy for them too :) Thanks for reviewing! To find out what happens to TJ and Spin, read on…**

**Lilia-Rose:**** I love the pairing of Gretchen and Gus! Most people on fanfic prefer Gretchen/Vince, and I like that pairing too, but I just think there's something so sweet about Gretchen and Gus. :) And I love Libby too! She's my favourite OC. Glad you like the story, thanks for reviewing! Sorry it took so long to update, I hope it doesn't happen again.**

**have-a-cookie:**** Woo! I think Gus and Gretchen have deserved happiness for a long time :) Stupid, stupid teachers, I hate homework full stop, it's bad enough in term time but the holidays?! It's just child cruelty! Anyway, thank you for your review, sorry I've taken ages to update!**

**GreenandPurpleMonkeys: ****Thank you very much for your review, I'm glad you like my story :) I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update!**

**SweetWildThang:**** Thanks for reviewing! Glad you like the story, sorry the update was so long :( Enjoy the chapter!**

**lozzard-wellard:**** Thanks for reviewing! I love Cornchip Girl too :D And where would I be without my problem child daughter of a carpet lover? Lmao :P Glad you like the story :D**

**shana852963:**** You're welcome :D I'm really happy for Libby as well! I love Libby and I felt really happy when I was writing it :D Thanks for reviewing, glad you like it!! :D**

**spamisthename:**** Will Spinelli and TJ work it out? Ahh, that would be telling ;) Lol, thanks for the review, glad you're liking the story :D**

**KenjiFinster:**** Again, thanks for the name. I live in England and they don't really show Recess that much over here, and when they do, it's the same episodes over and over again. I haven't seen the army/navy one in ages, and it's not on YouTube (I wish it was because I love it!) But thanks for the review, glad you like the story :D**

**abby:**** I'll look it up when I can remember :D Thanks for reviewing, glad you like it! I'm really happy for Gus, Gretchen & Libby and I'm really glad people like them because Gretchen/Gus isn't as common as Gretchen/Vince and I didn't know how people would react. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Sarina Blade:**** I quite like odd pairings :P Thanks for reviewing, I'm especially glad you liked the bit with Gretchen and Gus :D Enjoy this chapter!**

**Neviegirl:**** Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the story and sorry I didn't update sooner. Enjoy this chapter!**

**idoloveyou:**** Yup, Gus was a bit of a jerk at first lol, I loved making him sweet :D Mikey isn't dead yet, he's just in a coma, whether or not he does die well, you will find out ;) But not in this chapter as this is a big TJ/Spin chapter!! :D Thanks for the review, glad you like the story!**

**mad-sugar-but-sweet:**** Gotta love the angst, lol :D Thanks for reviewing, glad you like the story!! Sorry I didn't update for ages, enjoy this chapter, hope it makes up for me abandoning everyone for ages:)**

**aussiechick00:**** I think Cornchip Girl was a bit younger, she always looked younger and in the episode where it's picture day she gets dirty with the other younger ones before the fourth graders have their picture taken :) Thanks for the review, glad you like the story :D**

**Jayla Starlight:**** Haha, I don't mind at all about your long, rambling review, it makes me feel special and loved!! :D Lol, nice to have a Recess character who isn't completely different! And it's about time some people got happy endings lol :P OMG Recess characters in real life would be SO AWESOME!!!!! I would LOVE to have Mikey as a best friend and TJ as a boyfriend, and it would be awesome to have two random guys digging massive holes in your school grounds :P I can remember 3 episodes with Kurst the Worst in- there's one that's focused around her and Mikey making friends, and then she has smaller appearances in the episode with Lawson and his crew (she's in Lawson's crew) and in 'The Girl Was Trouble' (she has a food fight with Gretchen.) Anyway, thanks for reviewing, I'm really glad you like my story! :D**

**OnlyANorthenSong:**** Thanks for reviewing!! Yeah, I felt like that after I started reading Recess fanfics- I was really into it when I was 8 or 9 and to read all the fanfics and watch all the episodes was just amazing :) Sorry it took me so long to update, I'm glad you like the story! :D**

**Forgetful Love:**** It ended there because I am a very evil person who likes to keep my readers hanging on… lol :P I had NO IDEA you'd be in suspense for 2 months, so I'm sorry about that :( There are some amazing Recess fics out there, try Hooked On You by Jayla Starlight or Recess Drama by shana852963, but pretty much everything in the Recess fandom is amazing and makes a really good read. :D Thanks for reviewing! :D**

**Isa-BELLA-Swan91:**** Thanks for reviewing! I love that there are so many people who are reading Recess fanfics for the first time because Recess is an amazing show, and there are some great stories on this fandom :D I agree completely about the drama, without drama things would just be too boring and too much like real life! Lol :P Enjoy this chapter! **

**Long Story:**** It's amazing how many people there are who don't want Spinelli to die lol, I'm sure Spinelli would feel very loved if she knew about it :) Thanks for the review, glad you like the story!**

**0-Royal-T-0:**** Stupid school!! Haha if there was no school I'd probably sit and read fanfics all day too… and it would probably be better for my education :P Sorry for not updating for 2 months, and thanks for reviewing! :D**

**kat:**** Thanks for the review! Glad you like the story. I didn't used to take so long to update, so don't worry, there hopefully won't be 2 month gaps in between every chapter. Enjoy this chapter!**

**friends and p-f4ever:**** I will definitely finish this story, I hate leaving stories unfinished. I don't know when I'm going to finish it but I think it will be quite soon, I think I'm only going to write one or two more chapters. Thanks for reviewing!**

**child who is cool:**** Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad you like the story, and sorry it took me so long to update. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Rika24:**** Sorry updating took me so long! Glad you like the story, thanks for reviewing :D**

**twistedsister emogirl:**** Congratulations for being the 100****th**** review!!!! :D Thanks for reviewing, I'm sorry I didn't update for ages :( **

**sassybutt32:**** Lol, I like changing the characters, it's fun, especially when people really don't expect it :D Thanks for reviewing, glad you like the story!**

**J.C.:**** Hopefully you will enjoy this chapter seeing as it is all about TJ and Spinelli :D Thanks for reviewing, glad you like the story!**

TJ jumped into his car, slamming the door behind him. As he revved the engine up, he noticed his hands were shaking with anger. TJ turned his radio up to full volume, not even noticing that it was tuned into a station where two men with dull, monotone voices droned on about politics. Usually TJ point blank refused to listen to anything other than screamo, but today was different.

It was only when TJ was out of the hospital parking lot when he realised he didn't have a clue where Spinelli now lived. If she was in her old house, TJ would have known, as he'd only lived a few doors down from her. As far as he knew, her dad still lived there anyway.

TJ thought he might as well knock on the door and ask Spinelli's father; he would know. All he had to do was hope he wasn't at work.

TJ drove into his street and parked on Bob Spinelli's drive. He walked up and hammered hard on the door, completely ignoring the doorbell.

The door was answered by a woman. Everything about this woman looked completely fake; from her bright orange skin to her huge boobs. The woman smiled, and it was obvious her face had been botoxed.

TJ frowned, he had never seen this woman before.

"Hi," she said, "Can I help you?"

"Where does Spinelli live?"

The woman looked blank. "Spinelli?"

"Ashley Mills."

"Oh! You mean Robert's adorable little daughter? She only lives a few streets away from here."

TJ almost grinned at the thought of how Spinelli would have reacted if she'd heard whoever this lady was calling her 'adorable,' but then his anger raged again, meaning he could focus on the directions the woman was giving him to Spinelli's house.

"Thanks," TJ said, walking briskly back to his car, fists still clenched.

He followed the woman's instructions and ended up in another familiar street, though he couldn't remember why it was familiar. The woman had told him she lived at number 47, so he found it and parked his car on the driveway. He got out of his car, slamming the door behind him again.

He stormed up the drive and hammered on the door.

"Just a minute!" A voice from the other side of the door said.

Spinelli's voice.

Then she answered the door, wearing a red silk dressing gown. Her short black hair looked wet; it was evident she'd just come out of the shower or bath.

"TJ?" She said, looking puzzled and a bit nervous as TJ pushed past her into her entrance hall, slamming the front door. "What are you doing here?"

"I think you know why… Spinelli."

Ashley stood staring at him in shock. No. How the hell did he find out?

Ashley focused on fixing her face into confusion, although she knew it was too late; she knew TJ knew from the kiss and the stony anger on his face.

"Don't you _dare_ try to lie to me about it!!" TJ yelled, "don't you think you've already lied to me enough for all these years??!!"

"TJ," Ashley said, "I can explain…"

"I… DON'T… NEED… YOUR… EXCUSES!!!!!" TJ said, picking up a plant pot and hurling it across the room. It hit a window and smashed it. Ashley jumped as she heard the deafening smash. TJ was so angry Ashley could see the temple throbbing in his head.

Suddenly Ashley's shock and fear turned to anger; how dare TJ turn up at her house, not listen to her and start wrecking everything? "You can pay for everything you break."

TJ seized Ashley's wrists. "It's YOU who will pay!!"

"What have I done wrong?"

"You know what!!" TJ roared, banging Ashley's head against the wall. Ashley groaned in pain, the tears stinging in her dark eyes.

"But… I… don't!!" Ashley said, and TJ put one arm tightly around her neck, choking her and dragging her backwards, her heels scraping against the laminate flooring.

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!!" TJ was getting a thrilling feeling from seeing Ashley in pain. All the anger that had been building up and up inside of him like a monster over the past few years was finally being released on someone who, in his opinion, one hundred per cent deserved him. He had been so hurt by her, and now he was finally getting his own back.

"You're going to!" Ashley snapped, spluttering- TJ's grip around her neck was like iron. "My parents… divorced… Mom took me… it was… very sudden…"

"So?! You should have called! You should have wrote! You should have emailed! You should have at least let us know!!"

"I couldn't!"

"Why?" TJ had pushed Ashley onto the floor now. She was cowering in a corner, moaning in pain while he kicked her hard and stomped on her stomach.

"Because… because… because… BECAUSE I HAVE LEUKEMIA!!"

TJ suddenly stopped, the words struggling to register in his mind.

No.

Why?

Why Spinelli? When she was so good? So kind? Such a good friend? Always so tough, but never a bully, always there to stand up and protect those younger and more vulnerable?

Then why was he doing this to her?

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

"God, no."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry??!!" TJ was confused. Why was she sorry? What had she done wrong? TJ was sure she hadn't _asked _to have leukaemia.

"I should have told you," Ashley said, the tears pouring down her cheeks. TJ sat down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder, but Ashley flinched and shuffled away. TJ hung his head, feeling guilty and ashamed: he'd really hurt Ashley, and now he was certain she would never trust him again.

"When did you find out?" TJ asked, and Ashley was surprised at how calm and gentle his voice was.

"Fifth grade." Ashley said. "My parents… I guess they blamed each other. After my diagnosis, they argued every night, which led to the split. It was so sudden- my mom just ran down the stairs and told me to pack my bags. I wanted to say goodbye but I didn't get the chance."

TJ stared at the floor, not knowing what to say. Nothing he could say could make it better. Nothing he could say could make him forgive himself.

"Why, TJ?" Ashley said. "You used to be the nicest, sweetest, most thoughtful, lovely guy I knew. Why did you do this to me?"

"You broke my heart." Those four words seemed pathetic now. They seemed no excuse to put Ashley through all that pain. TJ clenched his fists, but the anger was only at himself- how could he act like such a monster before even hearing Ashley's side of the story?

"Oh… you mean…" Ashley started, and TJ nodded. "That night… when I told you how I felt. The night before you disappeared."

Ashley sighed. "I'd love to have told you the truth."

TJ's eyes lit up. "The truth?"

Ashley nodded slowly. "The truth… is that I love you. I always have, and I always will."

"Then… why didn't you tell me that?" TJ said. "If you'd just told me how you really felt back then, then we could have been so happy-"

"No we wouldn't. Because either way, I would have had to leave that night."

"But… you made me think… that I wasn't good enough for you… that you didn't love me… and that made me so angry…"

"I didn't want to tell any of you, because I didn't want to hurt you," Ashley said, sighing- it looked like her plan hadn't worked. Either way, she'd done the thing she wanted to do least- which was hurt TJ. "I knew that if I told you the truth about my leukaemia, you would have all worried about me, so that's why I told no one. And what if I'd gone out with you, TJ? And I'd died? What would you have done then?"

"I really don't know," TJ said, biting his lip. "Spin, I can't even imagine my life without you in it anymore- and you've only been back in it since today. I've already lost you once. I don't want to lose you again."

TJ heard a sigh and an almost inaudible murmur, that sounded like, "you'll have to."

TJ's face screwed up in confusion. "I don't understand."

"TJ," said Ashley, taking TJ's hand and giving it a squeeze, "I could die at any time… and I will."

**Again, I'm sorry if that wasn't worth the wait. **

**Over 100 reviews? WOW!! I REALLY didn't see that one coming. Thank you so much to all my amazing reviewers, I love every single one of you :)**

**And secondly, I hope you all had a good Christmas! :D **


	14. Guilt And Tears

**Thanks again for all the reviews, everyone! Nice to know you've forgiven me for leaving the story to rot for so long. And happy 2009 to you all!**

**Abby:**** Don't worry, I assure you I am definitely not dead! Lol, thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you don't hate me and that you're glad I'm back! :D**

**spamisthename:**** Poor TJ and Spin, it's so sad that they've only just found each other but Spinelli's not got long left to live :( Thanks for reviewing!**

**GreenandPurpleMonkeys:**** I think I'd be scared of TJ in that mood as well! Lol, thanks for reviewing, glad you like the story :) **

**Rika24:**** It's so sad to know that there's no cure, this story probably won't have a happy ending and there are so many people experiencing leukaemia and other life-threatening illnesses for themselves that have only got a few months or years left to live. :( Thanks for reviewing :)**

**lozzard-wellard:**** Violent TJ reminds me of our MSN stories! It's scary! We've actually not had one of those stories for ages lol, I think we've run out of ideas :| Thanks for reviewing! **

**sassybutt32:**** Poor Spinelli, and stupid TJ at first! (But he's being nice now so that's OK :P) Thanks for reviewing, sorry I didn't update for so long before :) **

**Isa-BELLA Swan91:**** Thanks for the review! To see if Spinelli will die, then keep reading…**

**shana852963:**** Thanks for reviewing! Glad you like the story, sorry it took me so long to update before!**

**idoloveyou:**** Just goes to show how violence is never the answer and there is more than one side to every story, lol that sounded so cheesy :P Thanks for reviewing, I'm so glad you like my story :D**

**child who is cool:**** Thanks for reviewing! Glad you like my story, hope you enjoy this chapter :D**

**Sarina Blade:**** It's really sad that TJ and Spinelli don't have much time to be together :( Thanks for the review, glad you like the story :D**

**dynajo:**** Thank you for reviewing! I'm really glad you like my story and and I hope you enjoy this chapter :D**

**.sarah.:**** Thanks for the review! Glad you like the story :D Sorry I didn't update for quite a while, enjoy this chapter!**

**Madame Fist:**** Thanks for reviewing! It's great to randomly remember Recess after a while and try out the fics, and I'm glad you're enjoying my story :D I'm sorry that the individual review replies are often longer than the actual chapters, the reason I do it is because some of my reviewers are anonymous and I'd like them to know I appreciate their feedback as well. I know I could reply personally to those registered with fanfic, but I find it easier to reply to everyone at once. But if other people would rather I didn't reply to everyone at once, that's fine, I won't. I'll put a poll up on my profile to see what everyone thinks. :)**

**Here is chapter 14!**

Ashley's words took a while to register in TJ's head. They were like a square peg and a round hole- not getting through at all.

Then suddenly, it clicked.

Ashley was dying.

Ashley was dying.

Ashley was dying…

NO!! Ashley Spinelli, the only girl he'd ever loved, the only girl he ever _would _love, could not die. He wouldn't allow it. He couldn't just stand back and let her die like that…

But the worst part was, he had to.

Nothing he could do could prevent Ashley's death. He could stand in front of her protectively and never leave her side, but in the end, the illness would win. Her life would be taken- and so would his. Even though he'd only just got his life back today in the kiss they'd shared.

The kiss was only today? Wow. So much had happened. So much had changed.

TJ sighed, squeezing Ashley's hand, knowing it was the most he could do. Never in his life had he felt so… _helpless_.

He didn't like feeling helpless. He didn't like depending on other people. He'd learned that in the fifth grade after Spinelli left and his dad died. He'd depended too much on Spinelli. He'd depended too much on his dad. When they were both gone, he was helpless. He learned not to depend on anyone else. To build hard, protective walls around himself and hope it would help him be hard and strong too.

But then all that- all the hard work, everything it had taken to make him a better person- all that was lying in ruins now.

All because Ashley was dying.

A tear slid silently down TJ's cheek- he sighed, he hadn't cried for so long. He used to think crying was pointless, because it didn't solve anything. But why shouldn't he cry? Was there any reason for him to hold back his tears? Everything he'd ever wanted- even when he was trying to be independent- was about to go, in one of the most slow, cruel, painful ways possible. Any smile that stretched across his face would be like a Halloween mask. Fake.

Ashley noticed TJ was crying. She sighed and let go of his hand, getting up and going over to look out of the broken window, her back to TJ.

"This is exactly what I didn't want," Ashley whispered.

"What?" TJ said.

"People crying. Getting all upset. It's a waste of tears."

"What do you mean, it's a waste of tears?" TJ asked, confused.

"Number one- it won't solve anything. Like it or not- this leukaemia will kill me, and crying ain't gonna stop that. Number two- I'm not worth it."

"You are," TJ growled fiercely, and Ashley turned around and smiled sadly. "No, I'm not. Because I've lied to everyone. You guys had a right to know… Gretchen, Vince, Gus, Mikey- you especially. But… I didn't tell you. And you know now, but will Mikey ever get to hear the truth, and know how sorry I am for living a lie? Will he be around to listen? Will _I _be around to tell him? Will I be around to tell anyone?"

"You will," TJ said, wishing Ashley would sit beside him again. How he longed to hold her, do something that had even a small chance of making her feel better.

"How do you know that?" Ashley snapped. "That's the scary part, Teej! _No one knows_ when I'm going to die. I could get to see the fireworks at New Year, blow out the candles on my birthday cake one last time, watch our caps fall down at graduation. If any of those happen, I'll be _extremely _lucky. But what if I'm not lucky, TJ? What if my time's almost up? I could die next week. I could die tomorrow. I could drop dead right _now_. We don't know, TJ… and it scares me."

Ashley sighed, and went to sit beside TJ. It was amazing how, despite everything, just for one fraction of a second, she felt safe in his arms.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I didn't want them to get hurt. It breaks my heart when I see my mom's face every morning as I get to school and get out the car. Why? Because she looks… so _worried._ She pulls me into this tight hug and says 'goodbye, sweetie' like it's the last time. For all we know, it could be. And I can see how much it _kills_ her. She's dying too, Teej- inside. Bit by bit, I get weaker, and so does she, I can see it in her eyes. I can tell it's happening to my dad too when I go to visit him. Why do I have to hurt them like this, TJ? I love them. They've given me so much. And this is how I repay them? By breaking their hearts? I don't _want _to hurt even more people than I already have! And _that_ is why I didn't tell anyone."

TJ couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt so guilty. Just a few hours ago at the hospital scene, the scene that could be Mikey's deathbed, he had called Spinelli selfish, when in reality, she was anything but. Keeping her secret from the world just because she was scared of people getting hurt. Feeling _guilty _because they were getting hurt. Feeling like it was her fault she was dying.

"Spin, you've _got _to understand that it is _not_ your fault," TJ said gently, caressing Ashley's beautiful cheek. Had it always felt so… cold? "You didn't ask to die. And it's not your fault that these people love you so much. They're upset. That's just because you're so wonderful, and you can't help that."

"But I'm _not _wonderful, TJ! I lied to you! I lied to everyone! Because of me, you got all depressed and the gang broke up. Maybe if I'd told you all where I was, you'd have kept the gang together and Mikey would maybe still have you guys now, and Gus's friends would have left him alone, and he'd be sitting at school with you guys now, not lying unconscious in a hospital bed, wired up to a heart monitor. If Mikey dies, it's my fault. I didn't ask to die. My death is no one's fault. But I deserve it, because of what I did to everyone, and the consequences its had, especially on Mikey."

TJ wondered what the hell was going through her mind. How could she even _think _it was her fault? "It's _not _your fault Spinelli!!"

"But-" Ashley began to protest, but TJ put his finger to her lips. "Shh. I love you. Don't forget that."

And then he kissed her again.

For a moment or so, the two focused on nothing but the gentle movement of their lips. It felt so… _right_.

Ashley pulled away from him, smiling. She was feeling a little dizzy- probably because of the kiss, she assumed.

The last thing she remembered seeing was TJ's face and thinking how beautiful and perfect it was. How everything was wonderful, and how she wished she could make this moment last forever.

And then everything went black.

**Please review! :)**


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